What NOT to get little girls this Christmas

In the mail today, I got a catalog that really freaked me out!

The catalog is for "My Twinn: the just-like-me doll!"

These are dolls that are personalized to look like little girls (apparently boys are not allowed to have dolls, lest they grow up to be loving, nurturing adult men).

First, you pick an outfit - obviously every little girl's favorite part (right).

Next, you pick one of 5 skin tones, one of 9 eye colors, and one of 10 hair colors. Does anyone else think it's weird that there are more eye colors than skin tones??

Finally, you upload or mail in the child's photo. Presumably, these will be used in unsavory ways after the doll has been made.

Then, a "My Twinn Artisan" will craft your doll. Can you imagine? "I got a degree from art school and now I'm a My Twinn Artisan." "Say again? A My-what artisan?"

All this for just $130! And don't worry, you can not only buy more outfits and accessories for your doll, but they also sell girl-sized clothes so you and the doll can look exactly alike!

In this photo (left), I'm not sure which has a blanker stare, the kid or the doll.

Once the doll arrives, you obviously name the doll after yourself. Then, you light some incense and follow the ritual printed in the box to bring your doll to life.

When the doll has developed your trust and the trust of your family, it smothers you in the night. Your doll then becomes you, and no one is the wiser.

Crucify

Crucify by Tori Amos

Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I wanna spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach, I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands - drive another nail in
Just what God needs, one more victim

Why do we crucify ourselves?
Everyday I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Everyday I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being in chains

Got a kick for a dog, beggin for love
Gotta have my suffering so that I can have my cross
I know a cat named Easter, he says, "Will you ever learn?
You're just an empty cage, girl, if you kill the bird"

I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands - drive another nail in
Got enough guilt to start my own religion

Why do we crucify ourselves?
Everyday I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Everyday I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being in chains

Please be
Save me
I cry

Looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands - drive another nail in
Where are those angels when you need them?

Why do we crucify ourselves?
Everyday I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Everyday I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being in chains

How I Hope to Be Loved

Savannah sent me the book of this beautiful story, and now it goes out to YOU...


Small was feeling grim and grumpy.

"Good grief," said Large. "What is the matter?"

"I'm grim and grumpy," said litle Small, "and I don't think you love me at all."

"Oh, Small," said Large, "grumpy or not, I'll always love you, no matter what."

"If I were a grumpy grizzly bear, would you still love me? Would you still care?"

"Of course," said Large. "Bear or not, I'd always love you, no matter what."

"But if I turned into a squishy bug, would you still love me and give me a hug?"

"Of course," said Large. "Bug or not, I'd always love you, no matter what."

"No matter what?" said Small with a smile. "What if I were a crocodile?"

"I'd still hold you close and snug and tight, and tuck you up in bed each night."

"But does love wear out? Does it break or bend? Can you fix it or patch it? Does it mend?"

"With time together, a smile, and a kiss - love can be mended with things like this."

"But what about when you're far away? Does your love go too, or does it stay?"

"Look up at the stars. They're far, far away. But their light reaches us at the end of each day."

"It's like that with love - we may be close, we may be far, but our love still surrounds us... wherever we are."

No Matter What by Debi Gliori

I Need to Know...

OK, so I've heard of kidney stones, gall stones, etc. Can you get liver stones?

I need to know, because I was eating some braunschweiger this afternoon and got a really hard piece that almost broke my tooth. Braunschweiger, aka goose-liver, is usually so smooth and creamy. I'd like to think this was a "liver-stone" and not a piece of goose beak or toenail.


Braunschweiger tip of the day: About a week after opening, the meat will change from a fresh pinkish color to a dull gray, and will then begin to turn green. If it is not consumed quickly after it first turns gray, the braunschweiger is no longer edible and should be disposed of immediately.

Fit

Where do you fit
when nothing fits
Your flesh
both bloated and hanging

Hope
is Queen Anne’s Lace
delicate
once plucked
dies too soon
shiver of the silhouette
of trusses
against the cloudy night
Pressed
in the space
between the tire
and the road.