Thursday, June 25, 2009

Random Thoughts from the Road


Yesterday, I drove to the UCC General Synod in Grand Rapids, MI. It was actually a nice drive, perfect weather (a little hot, but I had the A/C on) and pretty smooth as far as traffic goes. As I got started, I realized that I do a lot of thinking on these car drives (and also a lot of singing at the top of my lungs) and I decided to keep a notebook nearby and write down my random thoughts along the way. Now, I share them with you...
  • I can no longer hear Sarah McLachlan's "Angel" without thinking of those ASPCA pet rescue ads with the sad puppy dog eyes that makes me want to cry and makes me change the channel. (It came on the radio and I had to turn it off)
  • The super glue I got on my phone is never coming off
  • Did I pack everything?? What did I forget??
  • Bob Dylan and Willie Nelson are coming to Classic Park in Eastlake in July. I should probably go see them in concert before they die.
  • What IS that smell?
  • There sure are a lot of presidents from Ohio
  • I freaking LOVE Led Zeppelin!
  • What is the deal with those trucks that say "A. Duie Pyle?" Really??
  • Those "Real Men of Genius" ads crack me up! (The one I've been hearing lately is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeQnEqvrkO8 I find myself saying "Chili CHEEEESE!" a lot!)
  • I hate Delilah and syndicated radio shows
  • Billboards of Michigan: "Beef Jerky Unlimited (we are not a gas station)"
  • Why do I bother getting my job done on time? When I get things done, that just means I have to help others who didn't get their job done on time. Why don't I just procrastinate like everyone else so I don't have to do MY job and THEIR job?? I feel like by getting my stuff done on time, I'm enabling the procrastinators!!
  • Billboards of Michigan: "Guns Galore"
  • I LOVE Godspell!!!!!
  • Billboards of Michigan: "poopycredit.com"
  • Gotta love driving through an area where there are signs saying "Prison area - do not pick up hitchhikers." As opposed to all the times when I do pick up hitchhikers?
  • Why do men like to carry large bills? Sean gave me a $100 bill before I left (which was very thoughtful) but what do I do with it? No one would make change for it, including McDonald's, where my cheeseburger and diet Coke amounted to $2.50.
  • Driving along, a really crappy, loud car goes barrelling past me. I look over and say to myself, "What a piece of crap!" Not even 30 seconds later, this car's tire blows up - literally - causing me to have to do evasive maneuvers and still some rubber bits hit my car. Hey, if you have a crappy car, either keep it off the highway, or don't be driving like a maniac!
  • I stopped at an outlet mall and somehow spent $60 on undergarments
  • The techno remix of the Knight Rider theme song makes me want to drive fast
  • I used to love Meijer stores - it was a novelty since we don't have them in Cleveland, and they are open 24 hours. After stopping at one yesterday, not so much anymore. Very, very, very trashy.
  • Driving along, I see something crossing the road. I say out loud, "Go little creature!!" because it's just about to walk into my lane and it is going SLOW. I get closer, and I'm like, "What is wrong with its head??" because it's head is all flat. Then I realize, it's a really large turtle! I avoided it, and I hope others did, too. After I passed it, I was like, "Go! Go! Go turtle!!!"
  • Is Paul Harvey still alive? (and that's the REST of the story!) (Apparently not - he died in February 2009, I just learned)
  • I love Beastie Boys' "Brass Monkey!"
  • Signs for Grand Rapids say: Gd Rapids. Which makes me think: god-damn rapids!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Going for a Ride

In solidarity with my friends and colleagues who are bicycling to General Synod in Grand Rapids (riders began in NY, and the Cleveland crew left this morning) and because Sean wanted to, today I took a ride in the park. I have a new bike, so this was the first time I'd taken it out (although I did ride it around the neighborhood). After shaving my legs for optimal speed, we loaded up and went. Here's pretty much the breakdown of the ride:

5.5 = miles we rode
1 = stop made on the way there
3 = stops made on the way back
2 = walkers I passed
0 = bicyclers I passed
3 = dragonflies I saw
1 = great blue heron I saw (coming in for a landing, it was cool!)
1 = stop made for ice cream
20+ = times I complained about the ride being too hard
1 = time I broke down in tears because it was hard
1 = time I asked Sean to go get the car and pick me up
0 = times he picked me up with the car (after I broke down, he went to get the car, but I got back on the bike and finished the ride. When he got to the place where he thought I'd be waiting, he said there were people looking into the canal and he thought, "Oh great, she went into the canal!")
1 = old guy on a bike who verbally harassed me
1 = guy I saw riding a bike with a Burger King crown instead of a helmet
1 = number of times I said I should probably carry a personal defibrillator with me

Here's me on my bike today:


And, in case you are wondering about my super-awesome t-shirt, here's what it says:

Monday, June 08, 2009

When Midges Attack!

That says midges, by the way, NOT midgets! That will be a different blog entry.

People have all sorts of different names for them - midges, muffleheads, sand flies. Whatever you call them, they are back in droves!

It's a phenomenon I've only really witnessed since I've worked downtown. Midges seem to only be found within 1 mile or less of the Lake Erie shoreline. So, at my house, we are completely midge free. But downtown, I can't walk with my mouth open on the street for fear of inhaling one! My office window is at times covered with them, and the sign for our building seems to attract them like crazy.

Last week, I started finding them INSIDE the office building! They were on the elevator door, dead ones on the floor, and when I went into our storage room to get some mounted photo enlargements out, the pictures were COVERED with dead midges! Ewww!

This year, I've enhaled 2 midges, and probably eaten more than that since I sat on the patio a couple of times at local eateries.

They look a LOT like mosquitoes, but they aren't. They don't bite, and they are only around for a few days. You'll see them in swarms downtown and anywhere near the lake. Many days, my car is covered with them. I had one clinging to my windshield as I sped along the highway!

They really are annoying, but the good news is that when they appear, it means Lake Erie is healthy! Midges are an indicator of good water quality. Their populations suffered from water pollution back in the 50s and 60s.

Officially, they are called chironomids, or non-biting midges. They pose no health threat to humans and are an essential part of the local food chain, as they are a dietary staple of many local fish species. Experts are saying we've had more than usual this year and they aren't really sure why.

The life cycle of a midge begins when a female drops eggs near or on the water. The eggs hatch within three days and drop to the bottom of a body of water. As larva, the midges feed mostly on algae. They thrive in otherwise poor conditions, including polluted water or water with a low oxygen count. After a year, those that survive predators such as fish emerge from the water as flies and gather in swarms in areas near the lake.

Next, midges search for mates. Males hover in swarms as they look for elusive females. They live for just about a week, and they are often eaten by small birds or end up squashed on car windshields.

We have many different species in Northeast Ohio, and while they will be around all summer, they won't always be in such large swarms as we've been seeing lately. But, since their purpose is to mate and lay eggs, when this "crop" dies out, we can look forward to another round of midges in 5 weeks or so.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

IVF FAQs

I just completed an IVF cycle – except that the cycle was dropped and we weren’t able to do the IVF. They didn’t want to waste the eggs, so we did an IUI cycle instead. People have been asking me some questions about how this all works and how it is different from what we did last year. So I present to you some answers (from my perspective, of course!)

What is IVF?
IVF stands for In Vitro Fertilization. It is the process where the egg is fertilized outside the womb (in vitro). The process involves hormonally controlling the ovulatory process, removing eggs from the woman's ovaries (called “retrieval”) and letting sperm fertilize them in a special fluid. The fertilized egg is then transferred to the patient's uterus (called “embryo transfer) with the intent to establish a successful pregnancy.

How is IVF different from IUI?
IUI stands for Intra-Uterine Insemination. Sometimes IUI is also called “artificial insemination.” With IUI, the ovulation process is again controlled, but the egg is not removed from the body. The sperm (which is “washed” in a special way and has the slow ones removed) is injected directly into the uterus with a catheter, giving both the sperm and egg a higher chance of actually meeting.

What about the injections?
For this IVF cycle, they started me on Lupron, which I injected into my abdomen every night with an insulin syringe. The Lupron suppresses the cycle and prevents premature ovulation. It basically puts me into a menopausal-like state. During this time, I went to the fertility office for ultrasounds and bloodwork about every 5 days. They watch the hormone level and the uterus lining and the ovaries. When everything looks good (the ovaries are calm, uterus is calm) they start me on Follistim (follicle stimulating hormone gonadotropins – FSH), which I also inject into my abdomen, that stimulates the ovaries to produce eggs... lots of eggs. Once the Follistim starts, they check my ovaries and hormone level every other day or so until it is at the level where the eggs have grown to a good size. Once we get to where the eggs and hormones look good, I do the “trigger shot.” This final injection is human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) makes the ovaries release the eggs into the fallopian tubes in the next 48 hours or so. For IVF, I would go into the doctor 36 hours after the trigger shot so that the eggs can be retrieved before they are released. This injection also requires mixing the ingredients and filling the syringe. And this shot is usually the most painful – it burns and is often sore for days. And yes, I gave myself all of the injections except the trigger shot.

How do they check the hormone level and the follicles?
The hormone level is checked by a simple blood test. They draw a tube of blood every few days and send it to the lab. The results are returned that afternoon.

For the follicles, a trans-vaginal ultrasound is used. They ask me to go to the bathroom before the test and strip from my waist down. I always ask if I can keep my socks on. At my last appointment, I asked if they wanted us to empty the bladder because it interferes with the ultrasound or because the ultrasound tech doesn’t want to get peed on. The ultrasound tech said that she’s had every kind of bodily fluid on her at some point, but that they ask you do empty the bladder for “patient comfort.” I lie down on a padded table with my feet in stirrups. The trans-vaginal ultrasound is performed with a tube-shaped probe that is completely covered by a lubricated condom and inserted into the vaginal canal.

How do they retrieve the eggs for IVF?
With IVF, I would go in before the eggs are released, exactly 36 hours after the trigger shot. Then they put me out with general anesthesia (like a colonoscopy) and they transvaginally go in and retrieve the eggs with a long tube and a needle – they use an ultrasound to guide them and with the needle, they draw the eggs out of the follicles. They hope to get at least 8 eggs. It is very uncomfortable, so you are given pain medication and also antibiotics.

Then what?

The eggs would then be incubated with the sperm and hopefully be fertilized. They will probably take at least one of them and actually inject the sperm into it (intracytoplasmic sperm injection or ICSI) in case that is the problem (that the sperm can’t get through the egg wall).

The fertilized egg is then put into a special growth medium and left until it reaches the 6-8 cell stage (usually 3 days after retrieval). The embryo quality is then determined based on number of cells and evenness of growth.

The number of embryos transferred depends on the the number available, the age of the woman and other health and diagnostic factors. In countries such as the UK, Australia and New Zealand, a maximum of two embryos are transferred except in unusual circumstances. But in the U.S., embryo transfer is based on individual fertility diagnoses. Most ethical clinics will transfer 2 embryos in women under 35, and 3 in women over 35. This is to minimize the risk of multiple pregnancies which can be risky for both mother and baby(ies).

The embryo transfer is very similar to the insemination – the embryos are inserted into the uterus with a thin, plastic catheter.

OK, what kind of pain/discomfort are we talking here?
The injections are not that bad, in my opinion. It’s a little stressful, especially filling the syringe and trying to minimize air bubbles and whatnot, but the needle is very small and is barely a pin prick. The only one that is difficult is the last one, the trigger shot. It usually burns going in and often leaves a welt and a painful spot for several days.

The blood draw is similar, just a pin prick. And the trans-vaginal ultrasound is only slightly uncomfortable.

I am not a fan of the speculum, so the insemination part is never fun for me. It is painful and uncomfortable. At this last insemination, she had to readjust it several times to get access to my cervix and I had some bleeding. I hold my breath the whole time the speculum is being used.

I also tend to experience a great deal of cramping and abdominal and back pain during the ovulation. There have been times when I’ve spent 24 hours laying in bed crying from it.

And I feel extremely bloated for at least 2 weeks of the process.

Emotionally, it is a roller-coaster. One day, the eggs aren’t growing optimally, the next day they are doing great. The hormones make me a little ditzy and forgetful, and I do tend to be close to tears for the final 3 days or so of the injections. I ask people to be patient and nice to me, as I am extra fragile during this process. Pretty much every cycle I think to myself, "I am not doing this again..." but HOPE always wins.

And the cost?
The most expensive parts are the shots and the procedures. Of course none of it is covered by insurance.

For IUI, a single cycle costs around $3000, most of which is the shots. The Follistim costs about $200 per injection. The procedure itself is about $500. Additionally, there are the office visits, routine blood tests and ultrasounds.

For IVF, the entire cycle is around $12,000. The procedure itself is about $9,000 and the remaining costs are the shots and supplemental medications as well as the office visits, routine blood tests and ultrasounds.

This baby-making is BIG business!

What are the odds?
For IUI, success rates are between 20 and 60 percent. There are many differing opinions on the success, obviously, and different factors affect the success rates.

For IVF, the average success rate is about 35%, with a live birth rate of about 27%.

There is a 10-40% chance of my conceiving twins or more with these fertility drugs. While this would normally be an exciting blessing, multiple pregnancies for me would not be a good thing since I have incompetent cervix and I am at risk for miscarriage, premature birth, and other complications with even one baby, let alone more than one. I had to sign a waiver that I would consider selective reduction of the pregnancies if it becomes necessary for my health or the health of the baby(ies).

What Now?
The insemination was this past Friday. Now we wait 2 weeks to see if it worked! Twice a day, I give myself a vaginal suppository called Prometrium to help the uterine lining. I've had some abdominal discomfort, but it is getting less each day. I'll keep you posted!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Clucked Up

At an appointment this week, I went to use the restroom in the facility. On one of the stalls was a sign. I have a thing for funny signs, so felt compelled to take a photo of this. With my phone, because that's all I had with me. And of course, as I'm aiming, someone walks in! I made like I was just texting on my phone, and when she went in the stall, I took the picture.


In case it doesn't come through, this is the translation of the sign:
Bathrooms.
Toliet.
is
Clucked. up.
Do not use.
Out of Orodor.

OK, there are certain understandable misspellings here. The word "toilet" is not easy to spell unless you made it through 4th grade. I understand that.

But the part that gets me is "Clucked up." Did they mean to say "F---ed up?" Is this a new word: CLOGGED + PLUGGED = CLUCKED?

Was there a chicken stuck in the toilet? Is that why it's all clucked up?

Why did the chicken go into the bathroom? To cluck up the toilet, of course!
It seems that every day there is more reason for me to lose my faith in humanity.