The Wal

I love Walgreens. I recently started calling it "The Wal" after hearing a Dane Cook bit about an experience he had at "The Wal." I used to call it Walgrenns. I will probably refer to it both ways here.

For most of my life, Walgrenns was a phenomenon I only encountered on vacations - much like Walmart, I only went to them when I was in the south, usually Florida.

Then Walgrenns started appearing everywhere here. I wasn't a huge fan of them at first. I felt like a lot of their stuff was way overpriced, and I could never understand why they had coupons for tuna in the Sunday paper if they were supposed to be a "drugstore."

There have been numerous new ones built just this year. No joke - I just did a search, and there are literally 9 of them within 5 miles of my house - 5 within 2 miles. This is just excessive, yet wonderfully convenient - especially since the closest one is open 24 hours.

5 things I love about The Wal

1. You can find anything there - and some really weird shit, too. I got these cool pop-up hampers there once. And I love how they advertise on their signs, "Sweatshirts, 3 for $10." Isn't that just bizarre that you can get sweatshirts there? Sometimes I think they need to narrow down their product base or else it will start feeling like a flea market in there. Which it kinda does already, so maybe that's the fun of it. I wonder who and how they decide what they will sell.

2. While waiting for prescriptions, you can browse REAL Hallmark cards. It seems like most drugstores have the worst, cheapest, cheesiest cards ever. Not The Wal. They have genuine Hallmarks. Awesome.

3. Cheap milk. Since The Wall seems to have milk on sale just about every week, we almost always buy our milk there. It's even better if you are picking up a prescription at the same time.

4. After holidays, stuff is really cheap. I got some Christmas ornaments and cards there for next year and they were 90% off. Also picked up some Valentine candy to satisfy my chocolate needs super-cheap after V-day.

5. My absolute favorite thing about The Wal is finding their name on their "Wal" brand name on so many items. I actually get disappointed if I find something that says, "Walgreens Pain Reliever" instead of the more fun version, "Walbuprofin." If I have to wait for a prescription, or if I'm just in the mood, I like to scan the shelves for "Wal" versions of everything. If I find one I haven't seen before, I get really excited.

This all started when I started relying on Wal-tussin for cough and cold because it was so much cheaper, and it ended up working great for me. And I loved the name so much that I can't even remember the last time I referred to it as "Robitussin."

Whoever came up with this ingenious way of naming their products gets mad props from me.

Here are some that I've found (these are all real):

Wal-name...........Brand Name
Wal-dryl.....................Benadryl
Wal-four....................4-Way Nasal Spray
Wal-hist.....................Tavist Allergy
Wal-itin.....................Claritin
Wal-profin.................Ibuprofin
Wal-zan.....................Zantac
Wal-tussin.................Robitussin
Wal-mucil..................Metamucil
Wal-sporin.................Neosporin
Wal-borne.................Airborne
Wal-phed...................Sudafed
Wal-dram..................Dramamine

There are plenty of Walgreens brand items that don't have the "Wal" treatment, and I find that disappointing. I like to think of what the name would be if they had used the "Wal" treatment.

Here are some that I would suggest...

REAL NAME....................................MY SUGGESTION
Walgreens Zipper Seal Storage Bags..........Wal-zip
Walgreens Headache Relief.......................Wal-cedrin
Walgreens Stay Awake..............................Wal-doz
Walgreens Anti-diarrheal..........................Wal-modium
Walgreens laxative....................................Wal-lax

I just thought of a great one - feminine maxipads called, "Wal-ways." Get it?

I'm not sure I understand how they determine which products will get the "Wal" treatment and which ones won't. I guess that's all part of the fun of the game, and it's always exciting when a new product comes out that gets the Wal treatment.