Undertaking Underwear

As I was getting dressed today, I contemplated my choice in underwear, as I do everyday (see: The Hierarchy of the Panties). I tend to save "Lucky Panties #1" for a day when I feel "lucky" or want a pick me up. Right now, these are a pair of orange panties. While I chose another pair, I wondered if I might be buried in my Lucky Panties. Then I thought, "Do they bury people in their underwear, or don't they bother?" I don't mean burying people in ONLY their underwear, but with underwear under their clothes. I mean, nobody would know if you had underwear on, even if you had an open casket.

I had a difficult time finding the answer to this question. I came across some stories by Googling "dressing the dead" that were candid and comforting, but none mentioned underwear, although some mentioned panty hose and how difficult it is to put them on a dead body.

Finally, I came across one answer under "death and funerals" on answerbag.com. Here's what they said:

"This is a good question! When most people die, their relatives organize the funeral. The undertaker will ask those left behind if they would like the deceased to wear any special clothing and if so, they will be dressed in those items upon their funeral. If you supply underwear, then the deceased will be wearing undies. If not supplied, then they will wear just the suit/dress that was supplied. If nothing is supplied, then they will wear a gown."

Good to know! Guess I better make sure that my loved ones know where my Lucky Panties are!

There is a Crack in Everything...

I recently watched a documentary called, "Leonard Cohen: I'm Your Man." It was fascinating to learn about this poetic genius. I remember my mom having a Leonard Cohen album and, after being raised on the Beatles, Cat Stevens, and John Denver, as a kid I just didn't "get it."

Even as I got older, I have to admit, as best friend K. can attest, that I didn't always appreciate Leonard Cohen. His voice and style was so very different from what I was used to. I liked some of his songs (I want "Hallelujah" - song that literally breaks my heart every time I hear it - played at my funeral, in addition to previously mentioned song), but many I guess I just didn't "get."

As I was watching this movie, I was moved to tears by nearly every song. And I wondered to myself why that was, why the music and poetry of Leonard Cohen was moving me so much now.

After thinking about this for a while, I came to the conclusion that there are just things we can only understand after having certain life experiences. For some people, they may never get to that depth of understanding, but for some of us, even though we feel we have always been "deeper" than the average bear, we can't begin to know our depth until certain lemons have been thrown at us by life.

I think K. has always had that depth, and experienced so many painful things so much earlier than me, and some things that I have never experienced. So Leonard Cohen's music, among other things, moved her at a different level than I was capable of feeling at the time. Now that I've been thoroughly trampled by life, I get it. I totally get it and am moved to the point of deep agony and elation when listening to his music, and moreover, the poetry in his music.

My new favorite Leonard Cohen song is "Anthem" - the revelation of the phrase, "There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in" completely shook me, and gave me a different perspective on feeling "cracked" as a person.

"Anthem"

The birds they sang at the break of day

Start again I heard them say
Don't dwell on what has passed away or what is yet to be.
Ah the wars they will be fought again
The holy dove, she will be caught again
bought and sold and bought again the dove is never free.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.

We asked for signs the signs were sent:
the birth betrayed the marriage spent
Yeah the widowhood of every government -- signs for all to see.
I can't run no more with that lawless crowd
while the killers in high places say their prayers out loud.
But they've summoned, they've summoned up a thundercloud
and they're going to hear from me.

Ring the bells that still can ring ...

You can add up the parts but you won't have the sum
You can strike up the march, there is no drum
Every heart, every heart to love will come but like a refugee.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything

That's how the light gets in.

Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack, a crack in everything

That's how the light gets in.

That's how the light gets in.

That's how the light gets in.

And the Itchy goes to...

My picks from the Oscar dresses:

The "that looks like something Renee Zellweger would wear - oh wait, that is Renee Zellweger" award goes to Renee Zellweger!



The "maybe this is what we'll all be wearing in the future - metallic potato sacks" award goes to Tilda Swinton! (and I really like her, so it's sad this outfit is so awful)



The "does my butt look big? Can you see my panty lines?" award goes to Cameron Diaz!



The "I got this on the clearance rack at
Pea-n-the-Pod" award goes to Cate Blanchett!



The "I want to like you because you seem cool and have an intersting tale, but this dress makes me question your judgement" award goes to Diablo Cody! (who used to be an exotic dancer, by the way, so maybe she's still being exotic)




The "this is NOT for the fat girls" award goes to Jennifer Hudson!




The "WHAT THE $%@$!!" award goes to Heidi Klum!



The "thank you for actually dressing like a young lady and not like a little whore" award goes to Saorise Ronan! (a perfect dress for her, beautiful without being slutty!)



The "I can't think of what movies you've been in but you sure look hot tonight" award goes to Josh Lucas!
The "I don't know who you are, but this
is a classy dress" award goes to Amy Ryan!



The "dresses I like" awards go to:
Helen Mirren

Diane Lane

And my personal pick for best dressed of the night:

ANNE HATHAWAY!!!

Too Much Happy?

I read this article in Time magazine this week about "happiness." I thought it was interesting. I've pasted it below (it's short). The basic idea is that being "too happy" isn't a good thing, that feeling some dissatisfaction is what motivates us to do better, to work harder, make more money.

It's similar to my personal theory that "negative" emotions, like sadness, anger, jealousy serve a purpouse. Physical pain is a survival mechanism - it tells us when something is wrong, it helps to protect us from injury (like when you touch a hot stove - the pain tells you to move your hand before a more serious injury occurs).

I think those feelings we tend to categorize as "negative" serve a similar purpose - they tell us when something is wrong. Sometimes we know it, sometimes we don't. And those feelings do try to protect us from further hurt. Like putting our finger on a stove, we learn from those experiences not to do what was painful again.

Here's the article, I'd love to hear what you think. I think it's an interesting idea that being completely happy probably isn't healthy - being mostly happy is better for us.

How Happy is Happy Enough?

(Kate Stinchfield)

If the self-help section of your local bookstore has anything to say about it, there's a lot you can do to be happier. There's the scientific approach, the Dalai Lama's guide, even a happiness hypothesis. But is there such a thing as too happy? A new study published in the journal Perspectives on Psychological Science suggests that ultimate bliss may not be the ultimate good.

A team of researchers from three universities examined data from the World Values Survey along with the behaviors of 193 volunteers and found that the happiest people weren't necessarily the best off. The metric for this finding was a 10-point life-satisfaction scale. Most respondents ranked themselves as moderately happy. The higher they scored on the scale, the happier they were and the more successful they were likely to be. But that held true only until they hit the top. People who scored a perfect 10 tended to earn less money than slightly less happy folks, and among college students, the 10s had slightly lower grade-point averages and tended to miss more classes than 9s or 8s.

"For some reason, we think we should expect to be superhappy," says Ed Diener, a psychology professor at the University of Illinois and one of the study's authors. "But we need negative emotions."

The slight unease that comes with being moderately happy, Diener explains, means you're likelier to question the way things are—and to try to change it. That could mean finding a new career or doing better at school. "It's probably desirable to feel dissatisfaction appropriately," he says. A bit of fretting can pay health dividends too. If you worry just a little, you're likelier to be more vigilant about something as simple as sunscreen and protect yourself accordingly. As long as you're not too low on the satisfaction scale, it appears you should just be happy with how happy you are.

When I die...

On my way home from work the other day, the sun bright and the sky blue, a song came on the radio - and I decided right then that I want it played at my funeral. Not that I'm planning on going anywhere anytime soon, mind you.

I read somewhere that there's been a recent trend to play the "most played" songs from a person's iPod at their funeral. I like that idea. There are many, many songs I love, and many, many songs I'd like to have played at my funeral. One of those would be "Hallelujah," the Leonard Cohen song. I like the Rufus Wainright version (on the Shrek soundtrack).

I also decided how I want to be disposed, too. I want to be cremated and my ashes divided and scattered in the following places because they are all places that have fed my soul (oceans, rivers, and desert):

• The Pacific Ocean (preferably a beach on Kauai)
• The Atlantic Ocean (preferably Maine or North Carolina)
• Tucson, Arizona desert (near Sabino Canyon would be nice)
• The Mississippi River (preferably near St. Louis/Hanibal, MO)
• The Ohio River (as close to the "Book House" in Letart Falls as possible)

So, the song I heard on the radio that I want played at my funeral? End of the Line by The Traveling Wilburys. I love that song, and as I listened to it, I loved the message and would love people to hear that at my funeral. Also, I love the Traveling Wilburys - so many of my favorite musicians were members (Tom Petty, Bob Dylan, Roy Orbison, Jeff Lynne), most notably George Harrison.

Here are the lyrics:

Well it's all right, riding around in the breeze
Well it's all right, if you live the life you please
Well it's all right, doing the best you can
Well it's all right, as long as you lend a hand

You can sit around and wait for the phone to ring
Waiting for someone to tell you everything
Sit around and wonder what tomorrow will bring
Maybe a diamond ring

Well it's all right, even if they say you're wrong
Well it's all right, sometimes you gotta be strong
Well it's all right, as long as you got somewhere to lay
Well it's all right, everyday is judgement day

Maybe somewhere down the road aways
You'll think of me, and wonder where I am these days
Maybe somewhere down the road when somebody plays
Purple haze

Well it's all right, even when push comes to shove
Well it's all right, if you got someone to love
Well it's all right, everything'll work out fine
Well it's all right, we're going to the end of the line

Don't have to be ashamed of the car I drive
I'm just glad to be here, happy to be alive
It don't matter if you're by my side
I'm satisfied

Well it's all right, even if you're old and grey
Well it's all right, you still got something to say
Well it's all right, remember to live and let live
Well it's all right, the best you can do is forgive

Well it's all right, riding around in the breeze
Well it's all right, if you live the life you please
Well it's all right, even if the sun don't shine
Well it's all right, we're going to the end of the line

Ice Madness!

I hate winter. Sure, a slight dusting of snow at Christmas is lovely. And I love how snow looks like glitter under a full moon. But winter days like that are rare. Usually, we're trudging through drifts, slipping on ice, shoveling, getting salt on our cars and coats, and just plain shivering until the dangling carrot of spring!

I should also point out that I live in a suburb of Cleveland.

In 2005, Cleveland was listed as No. 92 out of 101 most depressed cities (101 being most depressed), or an "F", in a list compiled by Men's Health magazine. Philadelphia came in last with an "F," and is joined at the bottom by Detroit, St. Petersburg, St. Louis and Tampa. Cities were ranked on information on antidepressant sales from NDC Health; suicide rates, from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention; and information from the CDC's Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System.

Cleveland has also made the top of other lists - and not in a good way. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the city landed the No. 1 rating in terms of big-city poverty in the United States.
In a 2004 report done by a group called the Population Connection, Cleveland was ranked as the worst major city for children to live in. It was 20th out of 20 major cities.

It was the 20th most dangerous city in the country, according to Morgan Quitno Press (2004). The rankings compared 354 cities with populations of 75,000 or more that reported 2003 crime statistics to the FBI. They looked at six categories: murder, rape, robbery, aggravated assault, burglary and auto theft. Camden, N.J., Detroit, Atlanta, St. Louis and Gary, Ind. rounded out the top five. Lest we dispair, the other Ohio cities in the list of most dangerous included Dayton at No. 21 and Cincinnati at No. 25.

And Cleveland landed in the top 10 list of cities where living is difficult. A study from the Rockefeller Institute said Cleveland is among a handful of American cities where major urban hardship has existed for decades. Men's Health also listed Cleveland as one of the flabbiest cities in the United States coming in 59th out of 60 (60 being the worst). 60th was St. Louis.

But back to me. I think a lot of this has to do with the lack of sun we get in Cleveland. Everything is so bleak! With nearby Lake Erie, clouds are a part of life for us. And of course there's the "Lake Effect" which I'm not going to go into here. I've heard that Cleveland also ranks as one of the cities that gets the least amount of sunlight, but I couldn't find any stats to back that up.

Working downtown, where EVERYTHING is gray - the buildings, the roads, the sidewalks, the sky, the people, the snow - can be depressing, to say the least. I've tried my best to perk up my office with plants, a fish tank, positioning my chair so I see more sky and less buildings from my window. I even have a full-spectrum lamp over my head for the short winter days.

Still, winter is unbearable. We recently had a cold snap, and on my way home 2 days ago, I suddenly didn't know where I was and panicked. I think the cold and ice were getting to me! I looked around and nothing looked familiar, but when I got to the next stop sign, I realized I was in the right place, on the same route I take almost daily. It's Ice Madness, I say!

Yesterday, it started snowing early in the morning and didn't stop for most of the day. By 12noon, I was panicking, feeling nauseous and just wanting to get home. I left my office at 1:45pm and was home by 2:30. It really was bad, they ended up closing our building at 3:00pm because of the snow. And there are also other things "on my mind" that were causing me anxiety, but the snow was apparently the "straw" on my camel back.

So, you may wonder why I live in Cleveland if I hate it so much. It's because practically all of my family is here - my parents, in-laws, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and most importantly, my brother, sister-in-law, and nephews. Just thinking about not seeing them as frequently as I do now makes my eyes well up with tears, as if just the thought begins to tear my heart a little.

So I deal with it - the cold toes, the ripping winds, the slick ice - all are warmed by the sunshine of my adorable nephews.

Au Jus

I recently had a French Dip at Arby's, a terrific sandwich, although now it comes with swiss cheese, which I hate, and negotiating for a different kind of cheese was like negotiating a Middle East peace treaty. The next time I went to Arby's, I just ordered the old standard - Beef N Cheddar.

But I digress. The French Dip comes with "au jus." While "au jus" is Frence for "with (its own) juice," in America, it usually refers to more of a beef stock or broth.

Most menus that refer to au jus, will say it like this:

Prime Rib with Au Jus

French Dip with Au Jus

Herb Roasted Turkey with Au Jus

One of my coworkers pointed out that this is redundant. If "au jus" means "with juice," then "with au jus" means "with with juice."

And speaking of Arby's, what IS Arby's sauce? Whatever it is, I LOVE it! It doesn't have that overwhelming tang of barbeque sauce, it's fancier than the fanciest ketchup, and goes with roast beef like nothing else (except maybe horsy sauce, which sometimes I use in addition to the Arby's sauce).

When I was a kid, my mom would buy Arby's sauce (they sold it in jars at participating Arby's) and then would buy deli roast beef (which was thick and cold and nothing like Arby's savory roasted beef) and we could use the Arby's sauce to make our own version of Arby's sandwiches. On white bread. It wasn't quite the same, but the Arby's sauce can make anything palattable.

Random thoughts about breakfast

I love breakfast food. I love eggs and bacon and sausage and toast and cereal and pancakes and french toast and waffles. I even love eggs benedict.

My favorite breakfast from McDonald's is a sausage McMuffin with egg. My favorite pancakes are made by my husband. My favorite scrambled eggs are made by myself. My favorite place to get breakfast food is Cracker Barrel. I love biscuits with butter and honey. I love toast with peanut butter and jelly. I love eggs with just salt or American cheese. I love bagels with cream cheese. I love hash browns of all kinds.

I love cereal with milk, and my favorites (which rotate frequently) are: For actual breakfast: Life, Raisin Bran, Oatmeal Squares, Shredded Wheat, Smart Start, and Multigrain Cheerios. For snacks: Fruity Pebbles, Lucky Charms, Corn Pops. For cereal, I like to let it sit in the milk until it's soggy (not a big fan of Cap'n Crunch and the way it tears up the roof of my mouth).

I love breakfast at breakfast time. I love breakfast at dinner time. I love breakfast as snacks. Is it strange that I don't like breakfast for lunch?

Negator

I thought I'd write something interesting and profound, but I'm too tired. Just wanted to share that, after getting a negative pregnancy test on Saturday, my period arrived right on schedule yesterday morning. I was pretty disappointed, but still feeling optimistic and both S. and I are ready to try again this month. That's all I've got for today.