I hate winter. Sure, a slight dusting of snow at Christmas is lovely. And I love how snow looks like glitter under a full moon. But winter days like that are rare. Usually, we're trudging through drifts, slipping on ice, shoveling, getting salt on our cars and coats, and just plain shivering until the dangling carrot of spring!I should also point out that I live in a suburb of Cleveland.
In 2005, Cleveland was listed as No. 92 out of 101 most depressed cities (101 being most depressed), or an "F", in a list compiled by Men's Health magazine. Philadelphia came in last with an "F," and is joined at the bottom by Detroit, St. Petersburg, St. Louis and Tampa. Cities were ranked on information on antidepressant sales from NDC Health; suicide rates, from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention; and information from the CDC's Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System.
Cleveland has also made the top of other lists - and not in a good way. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the city landed the No. 1 rating in terms of big-city poverty in the United States.
In a 2004 report done by a group called the Population Connection, Cleveland was ranked as the worst major city for children to live in. It was 20th out of 20 major cities.
In a 2004 report done by a group called the Population Connection, Cleveland was ranked as the worst major city for children to live in. It was 20th out of 20 major cities.
It was the 20th most dangerous city in the country, according to Morgan Quitno Press (2004). The rankings compared 354 cities with populations of 75,000 or more that reported 2003 crime statistics to the FBI. They looked at six categories: murder, rape, robbery, aggravated assault, burglary and auto theft. Camden, N.J., Detroit, Atlanta, St. Louis and Gary, Ind. rounded out the top five. Lest we dispair, the other Ohio cities in the list of most dangerous included Dayton at No. 21 and Cincinnati at No. 25.
And Cleveland landed in the top 10 list of cities where living is difficult. A study from the Rockefeller Institute said Cleveland is among a handful of American cities where major urban hardship has existed for decades. Men's Health also listed Cleveland as one of the flabbiest cities in the United States coming in 59th out of 60 (60 being the worst). 60th was St. Louis.
But back to me. I think a lot of this has to do with the lack of sun we get in Cleveland. Everything is so bleak! With nearby Lake Erie, clouds are a part of life for us. And of course there's the "Lake Effect" which I'm not going to go into here. I've heard that Cleveland also ranks as one of the cities that gets the least amount of sunlight, but I couldn't find any stats to back that up.
Working downtown, where EVERYTHING is gray - the buildings, the roads, the sidewalks, the sky, the people, the snow - can be depressing, to say the least. I've tried my best to perk up my office with plants, a fish tank, positioning my chair so I see more sky and less buildings from my window. I even have a full-spectrum lamp over my head for the short winter days.Still, winter is unbearable. We recently had a cold snap, and on my way home 2 days ago, I suddenly didn't know where I was and panicked. I think the cold and ice were getting to me! I looked around and nothing looked familiar, but when I got to the next stop sign, I realized I was in the right place, on the same route I take almost daily. It's Ice Madness, I say!
Yesterday, it started snowing early in the morning and didn't stop for most of the day. By 12noon, I was panicking, feeling nauseous and just wanting to get home. I left my office at 1:45pm and was home by 2:30. It really was bad, they ended up closing our building at 3:00pm because of the snow. And there are also other things "on my mind" that were causing me anxiety, but the snow was apparently the "straw" on my camel back.
So, you may wonder why I live in Cleveland if I hate it so much. It's because practically all of my family is here - my parents, in-laws, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and most importantly, my brother, sister-in-law, and nephews. Just thinking about not seeing them as frequently as I do now makes my eyes well up with tears, as if just the thought begins to tear my heart a little.
So I deal with it - the cold toes, the ripping winds, the slick ice - all are warmed by the sunshine of my adorable nephews.
1 comment:
This is a great post. Several things come to my mind after reading it.
1. I completely understand what you are saying, even though I don't think my city ranks in any of the top 20 most shittiest places lists. But the gray, the snow, the ice, the COLD...oh it's wearing on the body and the mind!
2. Ice Madness--the same exact thing happened to me the other night! I wasn't driving, so I was silently panicking, but I was thinking "did I just have a stroke or an aneurysm or something because I know I'm two blocks from my house but nothing looks familiar at all!" It was weird.
3. I would like to know how many times in a year/month/week--however you want to count it--the average Clevelandite references the words "Lake Effect." You guys are secretly proud of it, aren't you?
4. I understand why you stay there...it's the same reason I'm here. Sigh.
5. But it is good to know that I have an "in" with someone in one of the most depressing cities in America. You know, just in case I can't quite get to suicidal here in Iowa, I can always rent a car and give it a shot at your house.
6. How's that for an idea--a suicide hotel! You check in, prepay of course, and then do your deed. Hotel staff will call the authorities and thoroughly clean and disinfect the room for the next would-be-suicideur. I think this is a million-dollar idea, and with Cleveland's many rankings in depression, crime, etc., that could be a really good marketing angle. "Want to commit suicide but just can't quite get over the hump? Come to the most depressing city in the nation and treat yourself to a clean, affordably and luxurious self-death!"
7. The part about your nephews being your sunshine is so very sweet.
Someday it will be warm, it will be my birthday and you and me and LilCherie will be warming our butts in the 10 to 15 minutes of sunlight that Cleveland will get over the 4th of July holiday. We'll make it, sister!
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