Random Thoughts from the Road

Yesterday, I drove to the UCC General Synod in Grand Rapids, MI. It was actually a nice drive, perfect weather (a little hot, but I had the A/C on) and pretty smooth as far as traffic goes. As I got started, I realized that I do a lot of thinking on these car drives (and also a lot of singing at the top of my lungs) and I decided to keep a notebook nearby and write down my random thoughts along the way. Now, I share them with you...

• I can no longer hear Sarah McLachlan's "Angel" without thinking of those ASPCA pet rescue ads with the sad puppy dog eyes that makes me want to cry and makes me change the channel. (It came on the radio and I had to turn it off)
• The super glue I got on my phone is never coming off
• Did I pack everything?? What did I forget??
• Bob Dylan and Willie Nelson are coming to Classic Park in Eastlake in July. I should probably go see them in concert before they die.
• What IS that smell?
• There sure are a lot of presidents from Ohio
• I freaking LOVE Led Zeppelin!
• What is the deal with those trucks that say "A. Duie Pyle?" Really??
• Those "Real Men of Genius" ads crack me up! (The one I've been hearing lately is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeQnEqvrkO8 I find myself saying "Chili CHEEEESE!" a lot!)
• I hate Delilah and syndicated radio shows
• Billboards of Michigan: "Beef Jerky Unlimited (we are not a gas station)"
• Why do I bother getting my job done on time? When I get things done, that just means I have to help others who didn't get their job done on time. Why don't I just procrastinate like everyone else so I don't have to do MY job and THEIR job?? I feel like by getting my stuff done on time, I'm enabling the procrastinators!!
• Billboards of Michigan: "Guns Galore"
• I LOVE Godspell!!!!!
• Billboards of Michigan: "poopycredit.com"
• Gotta love driving through an area where there are signs saying "Prison area - do not pick up hitchhikers." As opposed to all the times when I do pick up hitchhikers?
• Why do men like to carry large bills? Sean gave me a $100 bill before I left (which was very thoughtful) but what do I do with it? No one would make change for it, including McDonald's, where my cheeseburger and diet Coke amounted to $2.50.
• Driving along, a really crappy, loud car goes barrelling past me. I look over and say to myself, "What a piece of crap!" Not even 30 seconds later, this car's tire blows up - literally - causing me to have to do evasive maneuvers and still some rubber bits hit my car. Hey, if you have a crappy car, either keep it off the highway, or don't be driving like a maniac!
• I stopped at an outlet mall and somehow spent $60 on undergarments
• The techno remix of the Knight Rider theme song makes me want to drive fast
• I used to love Meijer stores - it was a novelty since we don't have them in Cleveland, and they are open 24 hours. After stopping at one yesterday, not so much anymore. Very, very, very trashy.
• Driving along, I see something crossing the road. I say out loud, "Go little creature!!" because it's just about to walk into my lane and it is going SLOW. I get closer, and I'm like, "What is wrong with its head??" because it's head is all flat. Then I realize, it's a really large turtle! I avoided it, and I hope others did, too. After I passed it, I was like, "Go! Go! Go turtle!!!"
• Is Paul Harvey still alive? (and that's the REST of the story!) (Apparently not - he died in February 2009, I just learned)
• I love Beastie Boys' "Brass Monkey!"
• Signs for Grand Rapids say: Gd Rapids. Which makes me think: god-damn rapids!
  

Going for a Ride

In solidarity with my friends and colleagues who are bicycling to General Synod in Grand Rapids (riders began in NY, and the Cleveland crew left this morning) and because Sean wanted to, today I took a ride in the park. I have a new bike, so this was the first time I'd taken it out (although I did ride it around the neighborhood). After shaving my legs for optimal speed, we loaded up and went. Here's pretty much the breakdown of the ride:

5.5 = miles we rode
1 = stop made on the way there
3 = stops made on the way back
2 = walkers I passed
0 = bicyclers I passed
3 = dragonflies I saw
1 = great blue heron I saw (coming in for a landing, it was cool!)
1 = stop made for ice cream
20+ = times I complained about the ride being too hard
1 = time I broke down in tears because it was hard
1 = time I asked Sean to go get the car and pick me up
0 = times he picked me up with the car (after I broke down, he went to get the car, but I got back on the bike and finished the ride. When he got to the place where he thought I'd be waiting, he said there were people looking into the canal and he thought, "Oh great, she went into the canal!")
1 = old guy on a bike who verbally harassed me
1 = guy I saw riding a bike with a Burger King crown instead of a helmet
1 = number of times I said I should probably carry a personal defibrillator with me

Here's me on my bike today:


And, in case you are wondering about my super-awesome t-shirt, here's what it says:

When Midges Attack!

That says midges, by the way, NOT midgets! That will be a different blog entry.

People have all sorts of different names for them - midges, muffleheads, sand flies. Whatever you call them, they are back in droves!

It's a phenomenon I've only really witnessed since I've worked downtown. Midges seem to only be found within 1 mile or less of the Lake Erie shoreline. So, at my house, we are completely midge free. But downtown, I can't walk with my mouth open on the street for fear of inhaling one! My office window is at times covered with them, and the sign for our building seems to attract them like crazy.

Last week, I started finding them INSIDE the office building! They were on the elevator door, dead ones on the floor, and when I went into our storage room to get some mounted photo enlargements out, the pictures were COVERED with dead midges! Ewww!

This year, I've enhaled 2 midges, and probably eaten more than that since I sat on the patio a couple of times at local eateries.

They look a LOT like mosquitoes, but they aren't. They don't bite, and they are only around for a few days. You'll see them in swarms downtown and anywhere near the lake. Many days, my car is covered with them. I had one clinging to my windshield as I sped along the highway!

They really are annoying, but the good news is that when they appear, it means Lake Erie is healthy! Midges are an indicator of good water quality. Their populations suffered from water pollution back in the 50s and 60s.

Officially, they are called chironomids, or non-biting midges. They pose no health threat to humans and are an essential part of the local food chain, as they are a dietary staple of many local fish species. Experts are saying we've had more than usual this year and they aren't really sure why.

The life cycle of a midge begins when a female drops eggs near or on the water. The eggs hatch within three days and drop to the bottom of a body of water. As larva, the midges feed mostly on algae. They thrive in otherwise poor conditions, including polluted water or water with a low oxygen count. After a year, those that survive predators such as fish emerge from the water as flies and gather in swarms in areas near the lake.

Next, midges search for mates. Males hover in swarms as they look for elusive females. They live for just about a week, and they are often eaten by small birds or end up squashed on car windshields.

We have many different species in Northeast Ohio, and while they will be around all summer, they won't always be in such large swarms as we've been seeing lately. But, since their purpose is to mate and lay eggs, when this "crop" dies out, we can look forward to another round of midges in 5 weeks or so.