Hawk Eyes

Today, I went to the park. I'm still covered in a rash and my joints ache, but I can't stand to waste a sunny day by sitting inside when I could be observing wildlife. It was over 90 degrees today, so I decided to make it a relatively short venture. My plan, since I'm still achy, was to just find a quiet place and park it on a bench for a while with camera in hand.

I walked around a bit in this marshy area I like. Saw lots of birds, but wasn't able to capture all of them with the camera, they are too quick! And I only seem to see the frogs when they make a "peep!" and jump into the water after seeing me. Once I was drenched in sweat, I decided to sit on a bench in the shade. There were a lot of birds from this spot, but with all the trees, it's hard to capture them with the camera. Still enjoyable to watch them - many were eating the berries that are starting to ripen.

I heard a rustling noise to my right that sounded like something large. When I looked over, I first thought it was a groundhog or woodchuck - it was about the size of a basketball and looked brown and furry. There was a lot of brush, so I didn't get a very clear view of it, but then I saw its eyes and beak and realized it was a hawk or falcon or eagle.

I took a few photos as it looked right at me. Then it hopped forward and leaned down. I thought it was stalking some small prey in the brush and assumed at any moment I would see some commotion from that direction and the bird fly away with its meal. After several minutes, that did not happen. In fact, I saw no more movement from the direction of the bird, which was only about 15 feet from where I was sitting.

Before heading home, I decided to investigate the area. I figured when I got close, the bird would take flight. As I stepped into the brush, the only movement I saw was from hordes of flies converging on the feathered mass of the huge bird. It's body lay still in the grass. Twice I saw the bird shake the flies from its head, but that was the only movement I saw. It was obviously near death and the flies were wasting no time in the hot sun.

I didn't expect to find it dead, this majestic bird whose eyes had just been looking into mine. As I walked back to the car, I thought about the strange phenomenon of being the last living thing that another living thing saw before it died.

I have been the last living thing seen by a dying being before, both people and animals. I like to think it's an honor to have been that for another being, to be its last vision of this world. I hope my presence contributes to a gentle, empathic gateway to whatever realm waits for us in death. My experiences with death have been too often, but have also helped me to not be afraid of it. And I think being there when someone or something loses its grip on life connects you more closely to the spiritual.


*I now believe it was a Cooper's Hawk, but I'm not positive. It appeared to have died of natural causes (in other words, it wasn't shot).*
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