Women!

I am writing to you today from a women's event. All women. 5,0000 of them. 24/7.

It's not that I hate women. Or feminism. In fact, I admire and idolize strong women. I'm grateful for the work of feminism that allows me to do things I do today like vote and have a job with an office and a window and all that stuff. I really am.

It's more the "gynocentricity" stuff. I don't get into the pink jammies, doing our nails, singing kumba-ya. Maybe it's because I never had any sisters, but I've always been more comfortable around guys - or at least women who aren't afraid to talk about "bodily functions" like gas and poop and stuff.

I look around at all these women, doing girly things like shopping and hugging and talking, talking, talking, and I think to myself, "Ya know, I don't like women this much!"

And it doesn't help that this is the absolute poorest planned event I've ever been to - planned and executed completely by, you guessed it, women.

They're all so giddy and energetic, ready to sing or chat at the drop of a hat, and I just can't wait to get back to my hotel for some silence, some men-folk on the TV just to balance things out.

And what is it about women that they always have to tell you when they've got their periods? OK, so I sometimes talk about it, but I'm struggling with infertility, so it's really important for me to keep tabs on it all. It's the women who come up to you, maybe you just met them, and they lean in and go, "Sorry, I'm not my usual self. I've got my period." What do you say to that? "Uh, OK..."

And then there's menopause! I understand that these sorts of things kinda take over every aspect of your life, but I would just LOVE to go through one solid day without someone telling me they either have their period or are having hot flashes!

Maybe I'm just in culture shock because I've never been around this many women before. Slow women. Old women. Middle-aged women. Women who like to talk. Women who like to walk. Women with long hair. Women over there. It would make a great Dr. Suess book!

And I've never before seen so many jazzy scooters. If I ever get so fat that I need one of those, I think I'll run myself into a brick wall to try to end it all. Every two minutes, I hear the BEEP BEEP BEEP of someone backing up with their jazzy scooter. For some of the people on them, I want to yell, "Hey, if you get your ass up and walk, maybe you wouldn't need that thing!" I saw a couple of ladies who didn't seem to have any trouble walking at all - they'd park their little scooter and walk on over like there was nothing wrong with them. Granted, it's a lot of walking here, I'll give you that. My little feet are aching, that's for sure.

So, the one good thing, which is so cool it makes up for most of it, is that they have a "Red Tent" here. Yeah, I know what the Red Tent is (I read the book and forced others to read it, also). They described the Red Tent at this event as a place to relax, have some quiet, talk to a chaplain, etc. It took me a few days here before I made it over to the room in the convention center that was the "Red Tent" (no, it wasn't an actual tent).

The room had chairs, rocking chairs, soft music, a fountain, some sculptures and art, and a kind of tent thing in the middle - red fabric hanging down and then some spirals hanging from it with pictures of all kinds of women and quotes. Below the spirals were piles of rocks. Among the rocks were little pieces of paper, some with just words like "peace," "hope, "dream," and some with a prayer or meditation. Around the room, there were amazing quotes from all different women. It was really a cool idea! And the room was so quiet and peaceful and just had a soothing aura.

I guess not all women-stuff is annoying, there are some great things, too. You just have to find the women-friends who fit you. I'm glad I have some.