Did you ever think about someone you know, and you know their name and where you know them from, but you can't picture their face? This could be a former classmate, a celebrity, a relative, even your spouse. This happened to me this morning. For some reason thinking about a former co-worker who was super-hot, and I could remember the department he worked in, his name, his coworkers, etc. But, even though I KNEW he was super-hot, I couldn't picture his face. So, I put into effect the "Brain Google," searching my mental databases and eventually (and rather quickly) was able to bring up what he looked like. But it was a conscious effort.It's very unnerving when this happens for someone you are very close to - like a sibling, parent, spouse/partner, child. You know that you should know their face, you see them nearly every day. I think somehow our brains start to take those images for granted - like we are so used to seeing them, our brain stops seeing them and just assumes it's already got that image stored, so no need to re-invent the wheel. Except that when you are away from that person for a while, and you try to think about what they look like, you can't pull up their face on your mental monitor. This can even happen when you are sitting right next to them, and then you can cheat and look over and say, "Oh yeah, that's the one..." It's not that you don't think of this person, or others, often when you are not around them, because you do - but I think we don't always think of a picture of their face when we think of them. For me, it's more of a "soul imprint" that I think of - not so much an "image" but a feeling that you recognize and associate with that person.
It's nonetheless distressing when you can't picture the "whole" of someone you care about. I usually have to do the Brain Google for different parts of their face - eyes, mouth, hair - and slowly piece the entire picture back together, which isn't always easy to do. Maybe I'm the only one who has this problem, some sort of facial amnesia, but I like to think that it also has to do with how I've always been more attracted to a person's spirit and personality than their physical being. And this probably comes from my hope that people see more to me than my physical self.
1 comment:
This is an interesting post. I love the part about how our brains start to take the images for granted...that's an interesting concept. I also have this problem. It's like I can logically remember that a person has brown hair, blue eyes, or whatever, but I can't really picture it.
It's kind of weird how we remember faces. The actually memory fades with time but if we were to see it again we'd recognize it in an instant. I had an interesting experience the other day when I was looking through some photos at a photographer's shop, setting up a photo shoot for Bubba (which I cancelled because it was too expensive) and there was a photo of a baby who looked oddly familiar to me. It was only a couple months old in the picture. I asked if she could tell me who it was because I thought I recognized it and it turns out it was Jason's coworker's baby (THE Janet). I saw that baby only one time for about 10 minutes, when he was a day old and I was in the hospital waiting to have Bubba. She'd been in the same hospital as me so she wheeled him down. How would I possibly remember that? It's a mystery.
I think it's odd too that even when we try to memorize a face--like I did with Hope--it becomes fuzzy anyway. And also interesting how when Jason's mom died, at first all I could remember is how she looked when she was sick, but over time my memory reverted back to what she looked like when she was well.
I bet there are some interesting research studies on this topic.
And before I stop writing, I want you to know that I think you are beautiful, inside AND out.
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