Itchy JINGLE!

Itchy Jingle Bells to all! hehehe! This post is all about Christmas music.

Christmas Songs I Hate:

• The "Christmas Shoes" song - yes, this is in the top spot for a reason. This is a manipulative, sappy, completely cheesey and fake song. Can't Mama just wear her white-trash flip-flops to see Jesus? They were good enough for cousin Merline's wedding. Besides, does Jesus really care what we're wearing? And, why the hell is this little kid out by himself on Christmas Eve while his mom is home dying??
  
• "Christmas Don't Be Late" (The Chipmunks) - I really don't think I have to explain this one...
  
• "Do They Know It's Christmas" (Band Aid) - Uh, hello, no they probably DON'T know it's Christmas, considering only 32% of the world is Christian! The remaining 68% are something else. Here's how it plays out, approximately: 32% Christian, 20% Muslim, 15% Nonreligious, 13% Hindu, 6% indigenous, 6% Chinese traditional, 6% Buddhist, 1/3% Sikh, 1/4% Jewish, and the remaining less than 1/2% is "other." Everytime I hear this song, I think, "Why the hell would "they" care it's Christmas? And it's such a "US saving the World" song, as if we have all the answers and don't have any problems here? Hey, do "they" know it's Christmas in the US? How about we just be kind and open-hearted to each other, no matter what holiday it is?
  
• "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" (Bruce Springsteen) - it's not so much the song, but this version of the song, which was cute the first 5 years it was overplayed on the radio, but once you are able to say "ho ho ho" and all the other parts along with Bruce, it's time to take it out of rotation. As one blogger said, "Santa Clause is Switchin' to iTunes..."
  
• “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” - I had this on a 45 record as a kid, and I did not get it. Now that I'm older, I understand it a little better, but if the kid’s supposed to be in bed fast asleep, why is Dad all dressed up as Santa? Either Mom and Dad are into some really kinky games, or that’s not Dad. This is a traumatizing, disturbing song.

Favorites:

• "O Holy Night" - not so much for the words, but the music - this song is always very moving for me.


• "Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy" (David Bowie & Bing Crosby) - This will be considered a guilty pleasure by most, I'm sure, but I just love this one, even though I'm not a big fan of "The Little Drummer Boy" itself. My husband can't stand this song because he always had to sing the "bass" part, which is basically humming one note the whole song. I told him he misses the point that it's not WHAT we give, but that we do give. Of course, the parapapum is annoying, and, as another blogger wrote, "The song is so horrible that it can even induce hatred of drums." I also liked this comment, "Why would baby Jesus want to hear a drum when he really just wants to sleep?"


• "Baby It's Cold Outside" - this is a more recent favorite, but I guess it's because I don't hear it a billion times on the radio, so it has retained it's charm. Did you know it's written by Bing Crosby?


• I'm going to lump these together, but, as cheesey as they are, I love songs that are classic because of the performance, many of which are from the old Rankin-Bass christmas specials and I think all of them are on the Time/Life Christmas Treasury, which is the all-time best Christmas collection ever. These would include: "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" (Gene Autry), "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" (Burl Ives), "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" (Andy Williams), "White Christmas" (Bing Crosby), "Frosty the Snowman" (Gene Autry).


• "12 Days of Christmas" - Muppets version only - I adore John Denver, who is featured on this version. And Beaker going, "Me Me Me Me Me Me!" This one cracks me up EVERY TIME!


• "Sleigh Ride" - there is only one version of this that is worth listening to - the all instrumental version by Arthur Fiedler & The Boston Pops. This one makes me feel jingly all over - right up to the horsey sound at the end!

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a year without
dogs barking or cats meowing to Jingle Bells!