Fun with Iowans

You know how things seem to go wrong at the worst possible time? While the visit from our Iowa friends this past 7 days has been terrific, there were a few household glitches.

To start, S. and I went to the grocery store and left some laundry going when we left. When we got back, I went downstairs to switch the loads, and found about an inch of water from the stairs to the laundry area. Apparently, something got stuck in the drain and caused it to overflow. So, S. and I started trying to mop it up and used the shop vac to at least get it to the point where it would dry. Fun!

Our friends arrived the next day and there was the lovely odor of mildewy basement throughout the house.

Friday night, S. went to get some ice out of the refrigerator and it was all watery. We thought someone had left the door open or something, so we just kept checking it. The next morning, everything had melted. The fridge was warm. We couldn't believe that it could have died - we've lived in this house for 12 years, our first fridge lasted 5 years, and this one only lasted 7!

S. had to work, and the rest of us went to the amazing Bug City festival at the park. During his break, S. went and bought a new fridge at Lowe's and arranged to pick it up with his parent's van. While everyone rested/napped, LilCherie's husband R. and I went to my brother's house and picked up some coolers and ice that my sister-in-law had offered to help save the day. We came home, packed the coolers with what was salvageable, and by the time we finished, S. showed up with the fridge.

R. was SO helpful - he and S. moved the old fridge out onto the deck and managed to squeeze the new fridge (which was slightly larger) into the house. Yay! It was a bit tricky, but they did it.

Later, I went outside to find the old fridge had some messages on it, and soon we were all leaving graffiti on the fridge.

Depressionista also decided that the Girl's Night activity (we spent the night at a cabin) would be making new magnets for the new fridge.

Despite the appliance drama, everything went smoothly and we had a great time together. We are now on the 3rd fridge in 12 years!

The next odd happening was on Monday, after we got back from Girl's Night. We all took naps in the afternoon. When I woke up, my eye felt itchy, so I started rubbing it - a little too vigorously. Then it started hurting. Then it started swelling up. I think I scratched my cornea. The white part of my eye filled up with fluid, while the iris part stayed flat. The fluid was so built up, it actually was pushing my eyelid down so my eye looked all droopy. It started to go down a few hours later after I took my contacts out. Then I didn't wear contacts for 2 days so it could heal.

I now share our fridge fun.

The old fridge out on the deck

My silly fridge cartoons
Depressionista's going away letter for the fridge

The first thing written on the fridge, which we all added to (some of thes are real and some are not, obviously)...

Things that were kept in this fridge:

1. Dismembered body parts *
   * of various barnyard animals
2. Pez's hairball popsicles and Chili's turd pie (those are my cats)
3. Tingle's hormones
4. Depressionista's libido
5. The gimp
6. Vaginal suppositories
7. Assorted rotting vegetables
8. Corn dogs
9. The cold chill that has come over our marriage
10. My dreams for a better world
11. Enough food to feed a village in China
12. Mealworms (live ones) (note: I once had an oriental firebelly toad)
13. 10,000 sauce packets from Taco Bell, Arby's and Chinese food
14. Plastic spider that no one commented on... damn it! (note: I've had a little plastic spider in the fridge in an attempt to freak people out. It's been in there for YEARS and no one has ever said anything about it)
15. A passage into the next dimension

Fridge humor

• "Man, I used to be able to chill an entire case of beer, but now a six-pack has me beat."
• "My ice cubes used to be so firm..."
• "That new Whirlpool really thinks he's cool."
• "I'm not feeling so well today... I think I have a warm."
• "Look at the ice maker on that one!"

This led to us coming up with refrigerator pick-up lines.

Refrigerator Pickup Lines

• Hey baby, wanna stick your meat in my drawers?
• Is it cool in here, or is it just me?
• Wanna play find the sausage?
• Hey baby, what's your brand?
• Wanna stick your hose in my ice maker?
• Can I see what's in your drawers?
• Can I play with your magnets?
• Are your coils tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day.

And now, a sampling of the amazing magnets created during Girl's Night.

From my sister-in-law...My appeal to the heavens that this fridge will lastLilCheri's troll with muffinDepressionista made this funny one of her husbandDepressionista made this lovely depiction of me