Ghosts of Christmas Past...

Everyone gets a break at the holidays. Well, everyone except those who work in retail. TV shows play reruns, the radio stations play endless Christmas music, schools close, and a lot of folks take whatever remaining vacation days they have left.

So, like your favorite TV show, I'm going to do a "clip show" blog of Christmas blogs past. Enjoy these favorites from days of blog yore (well, mostly 2006...)

The Grace of Gratitude
The fine art of giving and receiving with grace

Santa Claus is Coming Tonight!
Santa Claus is based on a real historical figure! Really!

The Christmas Story House
Pictures and memories from our trip to the house from the famous Christmas classic!

It's a Wonderful Life!
One of my all-time favorite movies

The Annual Christmas Letter
My take on the brag letters sent with Christmas cards

Itchy JINGLE!
My favorite, and least favorite, Christmas songs.

Ugly Christmas Lights
The title says it all!

Christmastime is here...
Charlie Brown's Christmas

Please DON'T Let it Snow...
Except at Christmas!

What Makes the World Go ‘Round?

The thing I love most about my birthday is that I always feel loved and appreciated! It's a major ego boost to have so many people just thinking about you on your birthday, isn't it? It's hard not to spend the whole day smiling, even if the day isn't what you expected.

My birthday today started a bit wobbly. I managed to wake up on time even though I forgot to set my alarm, so that was a good thing. But I had to take a shower in the creepy basement shower because the husband is working on the tile in the upstairs shower. I was dreading this experience, but it actually wasn't too bad. He cleaned the shower for me and it was kind of nice to get hot water almost immediately, being that the basement shower is in closer proximity to the water heater.

As I was getting ready for work, I got a phone call from the credit card company. Yesterday, they called me because some "suspicious" charges appeared on my account. Turns out, someone had been using my credit card number. You feel so violated when something like that happens. Luckily, the charges had not posted yet, so I called where most of the charges had been made and had them cancel the charges before they went through. I was also lucky that the total of the charges was under $100. This morning, they were just verifying some of the activity. My heart sure skips a beat when you answer the phone and it's the "Fraud Department" of the credit card company!

My commute was smooth, arrived almost on time to work, and when I got to my desk, there were presents and cards all over! Such a nice surprise, and my boss, who was out sick today, sent not only presents, but a tray of treats to share with the office in honor of the day! Next, I got to hear a hilarious story of a "set-up" date from a colleague, and she and another colleague took me out to lunch, which was very enjoyable.

It's been a nice, quiet day, and a "GOOD" day, even though a nap would have made it even better!

My boss sent me an e-mail today that said this, and I just thought this was a wonderful self-esteem lifter and wanted to share.

What Makes the World Go ‘Round?

Some say that:

Love makes the world go ‘round,
or
Music
Money
Wants
Denial
Geeks
Blogging
Cake
Chocolate, but
Moon mechanics literally make the world go ‘round

But I’d say, it is YOU, Marcy!

You move our information from paper to internet, from one person’s desk to those across the sea, from a personal letter to a widespread story, from hidden text to highlighted portions. You bring a smile, tell a joke, deflate tension.

I am celebrating at every opportunity, the ways that you make my/our world go ‘round, giving a sense of family, and fostering a light-hearted atmosphere... I am celebrating your ability to make our world go round today and in the days to
come!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Thanks to all for the uplifting thoughts and messages! I feel very loved!

Somebody's Been Wishing on My Star!

As I crawl back into the land of the living after a nasty cold, I came across this unbelieveable news story about a 70-year-old woman who gave birth on November 28, 2008.

Here is the story:

Rao Devi, 70, holds her daughter Monday at the Hisar fertility clinic in India. She gave birth to her first child on Nov. 28 after undergoing in vitro fertilization. She said she and her husband had longed for a child during 50 years of marriage.

"We longed for a child all these years and now we are very happy to have one in the twilight years of our life," she said, according to the Telegraph.

The newspaper quoted Dr. Anurag Bishnoi of the Hisar fertility center in Haryana state as saying that Devi and her 72-year-old husband, Bala Ram, came to the facility for treatment. "Both the mother and child are in good health," Bishnoi said.

The doctor did not disclose whose egg or sperm was used in the procedure.

The Telegraph said Devi and her husband had been married 50 years. After 10 years of childless marriage, he wed his wife's sister, but there were no children from that union, it said.

The new father said he wasn't worried about what would happen to the baby if he and his wife died before she grows up.

"The upbringing of the child is not a problem. We have a joint family as is common in rural Haryana," he said.

Previously, the world's oldest mother was believed to be a Spanish woman. Maria del Carmen Bousada de Lara gave birth to twins in December 2006, days before her 67th birthday. She allegedly admitted that she lied about her age in order to receive fertility treatment from a U.S. clinic.

So, this just amazes me. And makes me wonder why it's so hard for me to get pregnant! I can't wait for 2008 to be over. What a year. 8 months of fertility treatments, shots, ultrasounds, blood work, and, of course, BILLS for it all, then a miscarriage, not to mention some health issues, various sicknesses, and some mental health crashes, this year is one for the books.

I know that turning the calendar to a new year really doesn't matter, but it's one change that I'm going to embrace with HOPE!

Thank you for lettin' me be myself!

This is a random, stream of consciousness list of things I am thankful for right now at this moment. This is in no way intended to be an exhaustive list, and it is not in any particular order.

Things I'm thankful for:

• Friends - old and new and old ones that are new again.
• Heat - including hot water. I don't know what I would do if I could not get a hot shower every day. And being in a warm house makes the cold weather a bit easier to take.
• Elastic.
• My job - I get frustrated and sometimes feel overworked, but I love my job. I'm so grateful I get to be involved in an organization I believe in, doing something that fits me, and working with people who are passionate and intelligent.
• Hope - ever since K sent me a garden rock with the word "HOPE" on it when I first started trying to have a baby (almost 10 years ago, believe it or not), the word "HOPE" has been something I've carried in my heart as a personal mantra. And I connected with Savannah because she named her daughter Hope, and I loved that name. All over my house I have little ornaments with the word "HOPE" to remind me of the power of having hope, even when things look bleak. I'm hopelessly hopeful.
• Nephews - my two nephews have filled me with so much love that I feel like the luckiest aunt on earth. I love those kids more than anything, they are smart and funny and cute and loving and just fun to be around. I'm also lucky to be an honorary aunt to some very special kids, who also fill my life with joy, even though I don't get to see them as often as I'd like. The children in my life have healed my heart more than anything else.
• Family - yes, all families are dysfunctional in their own way, but we all love each other and that counts for something.
• I've lived past 30 - I never thought I would. I don't know why, I just never thought I would live this long. So every day now is like a bonus!
• Chocolate (I don't think I need to explain this one)
• Clean water - after working with people from around the world, being exposed to advocacy issues concerning water, and traveling abroad to places where you CANNOT drink the water, I am aware of how lucky we are in the U.S. to be able to turn a faucet and have clean drinking water.
• Being debt-free - S. and I have been able to pay off all of our debts this year and that is something I am so grateful for. I am very aware that it is not something that many folks can experience, especially in this difficult economic time and in the midst of foreclosures. After receiving an inheritance, we were able to pay off our house and loans. It's interesting that now that I can afford it, I don't feel like spending money. (But I did get a new camera and an iPod, for which I am also grateful...)
• Sparkly stuff
• Faith/Spirit - I am grateful for spiritual mentors and friends who have helped lead me to a belief that fits me. I'm thankful for those who have listened to my theories and theologies, my questions and questions and questions, my anger and bitterness, my desire to have answers and understandings. There isn't a name or religion-label to put with what I believe, but I'm finding a spiritual comfort zone, and I am grateful for that.
• Music - I could not live without music. When I did my uterus collage, I put music notes in the ovaries, and my mom said, "Of course your ovaries would have music in them!" I love that I continue to find music that moves me. I love music. My iPod sleeps closer to me than my husband.
• Sake and Clonazepam - two things that help me get through the tough days (besides friends, crying, and sleeping). Sake is a new discovery for me. That will likely be a future blog entry.
• Sense of humor - I may not be interesting or funny to anyone else, but I find myself pretty entertaining! My self-deprecating humor is a self-defense mechanism. My sarcasm is often a way of telling the truth. I'm so glad that I am able to laugh and find humor in life. There was a time when I never thought I'd laugh again.
• Forgiving before being asked.
• Realizing that if you act with love, you can't go wrong.
• Eggnog milkshake season is here again.
• Quiet - I think some people might be surprised to know that I crave quiet, but I do. As I've dealt with things in my life, being alone and quiet has been more than a desire - it is a need for me. Doing anything with other people for long periods of time is very hard for me - I need a break from talking and engaging. Sometimes I take a bath and sink my head down under the water to cover my ears, close my eyes, and just listen to the water and my heartbeat. It's about the only time when I'm not thinking about something.
• Hugs.
• Google Maps.
• That I've somehow managed to lose 27 pounds this year, and even though some was not intentional, some was, and I am feeling better physically and emotionally as I've gotten some health issues under control in the last few months.
• Febreze.
• That even though the universe did not create me beautiful, it did create in me the ability to see and appreciate it in the world.
• Porn (yeah, I said it)
• Oceans and rivers and lakes and ponds and puddles that quench my thirsty soul.
• Deserts and grass and mountains and parks that dry me out when tears overflow.
• Independent movies and music.
• That there is no limit to my capacity for love.
• The kindness of strangers.
• Flushable wipes.
• Grilled cheese at my favorite restaurant, Pickwick & Frolic (they make it with Gouda and bacon!)
• A month without a plane ride.
• Facebook (yes, I'm addicted - but it has also brought special people back into my life and helped me connect more)
• That art is as meaningful as science - and just as important.
• The right to vote.
• Really nice, helpful people as cashiers, drive-thru order-takers, and pizza deliverers.
• That fat women like me now have more clothing options than muumuus.
• Orgasms.
• That there always seems to be a rest area just when you need it.


• and YOU!

Dropping a Blog

This blog entry is dedicated to B-Tom (yes, that's what I'm gonna call you now because it sounds cool), who inspired it with his comments on my blog. His comments made me think about all the euphemisms we have for pooping.

There are some that are more universal than others, like:

• dropping a deuce
• pinching a loaf
• catching up on some reading
• disposing of some hazardous waste
• dropping a log
• dropping the kids off at the pool
• making a deposit at the porcelain bank
• paving the Hershey highway
• releasing the demons
• taking a load off your mind
• dispensing some Soft-Serve
• exorcise the demons

Some funny ones I've never heard of, but of course someone on the internet has posted (note: I will not post or use the derogatory ones):

• bombing the Oval Office
• dancing with Deuce Bigalog
• full moon over troubled waters
• helping the groundhog find his shadow
• launching a corn canoe
• negotiating the release of the chocolate hostages
• taking the Browns to the Super Bowl
• updating the captain's log
• backing the bus out of the garage
• cleaning out the vertical file
• clear out some inventory
• colon bowlin’
• make a Cleveland steamer
• make a donation to the porcelain god
• open up a can of soup
• visit fortress of solitude

Wait a second! Why are so many of these derogatory references to Cleveland??

My patented term, by the way, for having diarrhea is: "ASSplosion" as in, "I gotta find a toilet quick! I'm about to have an ASSplosion!"

Another favorite of mine, as coined by my brother when he was in the Army, is "jumpers in the door." This is a reference to when paratroopers are at the door, and they say, "jumpers in the door!" Sometimes we just say, "Dude, I got jumpers!"

This is probably an appropriate place to share that intestinal issues are a family trait. My brother and I have been known to wrap up a box of Imodium AD and put it into each others' stockings at Christmas.

Some more of my personal favorite euphemisms for when you need to go:

• turtle poking its head out
• prairie doggin' it

My final topic of this blog entry is the strangely named trucking company, A. Duie Pyle. Everytime I see one of these trucks hauling down the highway, I think, "Does no one else think that's a kinda funny name? It must be a joke, right? Right??" But apparently, it is not.

A. Duie Pyle was founded by Mr. Alexander Duie Pyle of Coatesville, PA in 1924. Why he chose to call the company A. Duie Pyle and not something like A.D. Pyle, I'm not sure I know. Maybe back in 1924, the word "doo-doo" didn't have the same meaning.

Feeling a little flush

I can't believe a day like this would slip by me, but November 19 was World Toilet Day.

You know me, I'm ALL about potty humor, so I thought, "Wow, a day celebrating the toilet? How cool is that?" But, World Toilet Day might not be what you think.

November 19 was declared 'World Toilet Day' in 2001 by toilet associations around the world to raise awareness of the global sanitation crisis. That's right, "toilet associations." Since 2001, then there has been an annual World Toilet Summit and Expo.

We might think this is kind of silly, but what if there were no toilets? Where would you "go" when you had to go? Where would EVERYONE go? Toilets are a very serious issue in developing countries where hygiene is a matter of life and death.

• 2.5 billion people do not have somewhere safe, private or hygienic to go to the toilet.
• One gram of feces can contain 10 million viruses, one million bacteria, 1,000 parasite cysts and 100 parasite eggs.
• The simple act of washing hands with soap and water after going to the toilet can reduce diarrheal diseases by over 40%.
• Safe disposal of children's feces leads to a reduction of nearly 40% in childhood diarrhea.
• Every year 4 million people die from diseases associated with contaminated water.

The World Toilet Organization (the other WTO) asks each individual, in their respective country, to request better equality (more facilities for women); more accessibility and special provisions (for the disabled & mothers with babies); clean toilets (for everyone); and more toilets (for the less fortunate).

One of the United Nation's Millennium Development Goals is to cut in half the number of people living without "basic sanitation" by 2015. Did you know that in the U.S., every toilet flush uses as much water as the average person in a developing country uses for a whole day's washing, cleaning, cooking, and drinking?

In the summer of 1858, London experienced what historians call the Big Stink. At the height of the British empire, the city of London burgeoned with people. And all those people had to poop. And that poop, well, it had to go somewhere. At that time, people went in chamber pots which were emptied into the streets or backyards. Streets, basements, and yards were flooded with excrement, which eventually made its way to the River Thames. Of course, this happened every year, but the summer of 1858 was hotter than usual, and bacteria thrived. The odor was so overwhelming that people soaked curtains in chloride of lime and many left town. This provoked a much-needed sanitation reformation in London, and eventually led to the flush toilet.

Disease epidemics like cholera were directly caused by sewage contamination of drinking water. Even today, diseases from water contamination are the second-biggest killer of children worldwide, causing 5,000 deaths a day, five times the number dying from HIV/AIDS.

When I went to China in 2006, I was not prepared for the "toilets" we would encounter there. We were told to practice "squatting" so we'd have the leg muscles to do it, since all the toilets in China are squat toilets except for the ones in the hotels.

Here's a picture of a typical squat toilet (and yes, I used this one, and no, it had no door...)

With squat toilets, there isn't really any flushing, and you are not supposed to put anything down there except your excrement. Most restrooms have a little trash can where you are supposed to deposit the toilet paper (if you are lucky enough to find it provided for you). As you can imagine, the trash can of used toilet paper makes all the restrooms have a very distinctive odor. About halfway through the trip, I realized my urine was starting to smell like those toilets, presumably because the diet is so similar, and we were eating what the regular folk eat.

Here's a picture of me going into the squat toilet on one of our train rides.

Yes, a squat toilet on a moving train. Luckily, there was a railing you could hold on to. You'll notice that I have a baggie with my toilet paper, baby wipes, and hand sanitizer. This baggie went with me to every bathroom trip. Also, you may notice the window above the toilet. If you didn't squat down far enough, and we happened to stop at a station, you would give the waiting riders a little show.

Now, you may want to stop reading here if you have a tender stomach. This toilet was nothing more than 2 short walls of bricks and a hole in the ground. Right out in the open. My mom used this one, I did not. This next toilet was the one for the children at the school where we visited. Yes, I did use this one (when you gotta go, you gotta go). As you can see and can imagine, sanitation is an issue. And there was no running water here for hand washing. The organization I work for built a new school for these children which has running water and toilets.
The first time I pooped in a squat toilet, I emerged with my arms in the air as if I had won a victory. "I did it!" I yelled. I think it was day 3. Up to that point, I had managed to time my poo with the times when we were in the hotel. But that day, we were at the Terra Cotta Warriors in Xi'an, so I didn't have a choice. I'll never forget that moment.

The next time you go to the potty, be grateful. Chances are, you celebrated World Toilet Day without even knowing it. And if you didn't, you should probably go to the doctor...

Twilight Time

Since the movie version of the first book in the Twilight series opens this week, I decided to dedicate this post to the Twilight phenomenon.

I've read the first book. I read it in like 2 days, and let me just say, I rarely finish a book, let alone that quickly! I was completely sucked in (which is funny cuz it's a vampire book). I first heard of Twilight on Facebook - I was like, "Who is this Edward Cullen? What is all this Twilight stuff?" I asked around, found out about the books, and then heard from a few young women that I HAD to read them, I just HAD to - and then I would understand.

I did not want to like Twilight, but I was intrigued. Cynical, but intrigued. After all, very few things live up to their hype.

So, I bought the first book and set it on my pile of books for a couple of weeks. Then I got the puking/pooping/fever illness. When I started having enough energy to actually be awake, I fumbled blindly at the pile of books next to my bed and settled on Twilight.

It's hard to describe Twilight and its appeal. What is it about? Vampires. But not really. There isn't any biting or blood sucking, really. No hanging upside down, no sleeping in coffins. I know some people are "into" vampires, Anne Rice books and whatnot, but I am not one of those people. I've never read an Anne Rice book, Interview with a Vampire was an OK movie. I will admit that Bram Stoker's Dracula is one of my top ten movies. Why? The love story, of course - and the supremely awesome soundtrack.

The Twilight series is about love. But there's no sex (at least not in the first book) or nudity or bad language or anything. As I've been telling people, I can see why so many young women get so caught up in Twilight - it's because the love in these stories is the way every woman wants to be loved. Passionately, deeply, protectively, as if their life depended on your love.

The main character in the story, Bella, is a smart, witty young woman, but she is shy and awkward and thinks she is plain and uninteresting. If you were a nerd/geek in high school like me, you can relate to her. Edward, the vampire who loves her, appreciates her in every way - most especially the things that make her real - her intelligence, her humor, her flaws.

He watches her sleep and thinks she's beautiful. He sings to her. He watches out for her and protects her from harm. He wants to know everything about her. He puts her happiness before his own. He puts his trust in her. He wants to be near her. He is inspired by her.

It makes my heart flutter to think of being loved like that.

Now, I want to admit, Twilight is not particularly well-written. The characters and the charm and elegance and intrigue are what draw you in. The writing won't change your life. I felt the same way when I read The DaVinci Code - it was a fun story, but not such great writing. I can see why these books are popular because they are what I call "accessible" - no complex sentence structures, no big words, just a fun story. Not what you would call "literature," yet addictive stories. Nothing wrong with that.

Stephanie Meyer writes in a way that makes it easy to visualize everything that is happening - you know the town, you see the faces of the people, it feels very real, which makes the love part feel even more real. It's the melding of the fantasy and the relatable that draw readers into these stories.

Every woman dreams about that perfect love. We know that isn't reality - as everyone likes to tell us. But the escape and the dream are beautiful things. Besides, why can't we be loved like that? Some of us are worth it!

Refrigerator Raider!

Finally, a holiday worth celebrating! A holiday that truly makes an impact on our world and makes our lives better. That's right, today, November 15, is National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day!

Presumably, it's not International Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day because, well, only in America do we throw away endless amounts of food. Besides, I think they are still burying salted meats underground in most other countries.

If you're like me, leftovers of a meal I didn't really enjoy the first time around are put into plastic containers (tupperware, rubbermaid, etc.) As more important items like beer, wine, sake, hard cider, ameretto, sweet and sour mix, maraschino cherries, etc., are added to the refrigerator, the plastic container of god-knows-what gets shoved further and further into the back of the refrigerator.

Days or months later, you discover the container, peer through misty plastic and try to determine what it is (or was). If you are lucky, the item is glowing from within, allowing you a clear view of the new universe you have created in the airtight environment. If you don't remember putting anything into a container, chances are, you don't want to open it. If it's one of those ziploc containers, it's not worth it - don't open it, just toss it. But you paid $25 for the tupperware container, right? So, you're not going to just throw it away. You open it, carefully. The "psssssss" of the hermetically sealed airlock being broken is the warning signal. And then, the smell. The putrid scent that is so unholy and unnatural, you can't believe it was once something you ingested. And the sight! You may think, "I don't remember buying bleu cheese..." or "What kind of herb was that green stuff?" If it wasn't for the smell, some molds are actually quite beautiful, blossoming from rotten sloppy joe meat like a spring field of wildflowers.

I know people who, when met with a piece of moldy cheese, cut off the moldy part and eat the rest. Or, scrape the moldy part off the top of the spaghetti sauce, and dig into what lies beneath. I am not one of those people. If there is any hint of mold, or a strange scent, or a slightly slimy appearance, it's done. It's not frugal, I know.

Then there's the "crisper." I remember a very old Drew Carey stand-up routine where he talks about the "crisper" and says, "They should call this thing the rotter, because that's what's happening." Why do refrigerator manufacturers even make these bins anymore? It's true, whatever is put in there is soon forgotten until you clean out the fridge and find a mass of green sludge that was once a tasty mango (that no one tasted). At our house, we continue to call it the "rotter" and have a new plan to keep veggies and fruits from dying in the black hole of those bins. We use the rotter for beer and soda cans. That way they get used, and the veggies and fruits are put in a more visible location (where, sad to say, they usually still rot, but at least you see them going bad and can toss them sooner).

Now let's talk about the freezer. If you're like me, you like to think that anything put in the freezer will last indefinitely. But if you've ever pulled a pack of ground beef from the permafrost that has gone from its healthy red-pink, to red-brown, to gray-brown, to the color of death, you know that things in the freezer don't last forever. Today is the day to throw it away. Trust me - when your Eggo waffles are coated in ice crystals, they turn soggy in the toaster. Ick. Toss 'em.

Some other helpful tips as you clean out your refrigerator:

• Take everything out;
• Wash down and disinfect the inside walls of the refrigerator, the shelves, and all along the door seal;
• Wash everything going back in - bins, racks, and even the outsides of jars;
• Vacuum the coils at the back of the fridge, if your model has them;
• Clean the floor underneath the fridge.

I can vouch for those last two - it really is important to vacuum the coils at least once a year. We've gone through 3 refrigerators in 12 years and finally someone told me to do this. It's especially important if you have pets because pet hair collects on the coils, and the toys can get stuck under the fridge near the coils.

So, why National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day? It has been speculated that it's just good timing, to allow room for Thanksgiving goodies and holiday leftovers. Besides, if you have guests coming over, you don't want to be mortified when they find something that looks like a Mogwai living in your fridge.

As another point of reference, the Red Cross offers these tips for food safety if your refrigerator dies or the power goes out: Food Safety in a Power Outage

So put on your hazmat gear and dig in. It's Saturday, and if you live in Ohio, it's probably raining, so what better time to do it. I don't need to do it - we had to throw away everything in August when our refrigerator died and we got a new one. The old one, with it's Fridge Graffiti is still on the back deck (without doors). Click here to read about how we violated the poor old fridge. In the new fridge, we only have like 5 items in the freezer and everything is new. Guess I'll go to the movies.

When the gales of November came early

Five years ago today, I was facing the reality of losing my son, my baby, my infant child not yet ready to live outside of me.

Every year on this sad anniversary, I take the day off, have a quiet, gentle day, and write in a journal dedicated to Eroll. I write what I wish I could tell him, I write about the ways I remembered him this year, and the things I did in the last year, the ways I've changed, the feelings I've felt.

This year hit me hard. Years 3 and 4 seemed easier somehow, but this year it was so hard. Yesterday, I woke up feeling anxious and depressed. I went to work, only to spend the day on the verge of tears the entire time I was there. That ball of grief welled up in my throat threateningly. A few times, I couldn't stop the tears. The second time I started crying, my boss sent me home.

I realized then that I was remembering not the day that Eroll was born, but the day before that. The day my water broke and I went into labor. The horrible feelings of knowing what was happening and not wanting to accept it. And in the triage area, seeing my son on the ultrasound - the last time I saw him alive. All the membranes had ruptured and he would not survive inside me - and was too little to survive outside of me. No one said, but I knew he would die.

It was an awful, stormy, windy night - as they induced labor, we waited, tried to sleep some, but the sleet hitting the window of the hospital room kept waking me up, not that I was able to sleep too soundly anyway. I keep thinking about all the feelings - the horror of knowing I was losing him, and then having to make decisions - would we want to see the baby? Name him? Baptize him? And through all of it, I just wanted them to knock me out and wake me when it was over. But I had to go through labor - 18 hours later, our tiny son was born dead at 9:32am on Thursday, November 13. I sometimes wonder, at what point did he die? Did he suffer?

We did see him. We held him and looked at his tiny fingers and toes. We named him Eroll. And we had him baptized.

As soon as the epidural wore off, I was moved to another room to spend the night. I'll never forget the emptiness I felt. I was alone that night - more alone than I have ever felt. I had pain all night, and just getting to the bathroom was a chore. By the next morning, I was able to get up and sit in a chair. I'll always remember just sitting there, looking out the window and not knowing how I could go on living. What was I supposed to do with myself now? That night, that day, and days later, I don't remember any color. Just gray. Everything was gray.

The emptiness was a heavy weight that sometimes comes back to me when I least expect it, like yesterday and today. Crying is a release, but I know there's a scar within me that will always ache. The sharpest pain has ebbed, my body has healed, I no longer feel his phantom kicks that I felt for months after losing him. And we have some answers now - that Eroll was perfect genetically, but the loss was because I have incompetent cervix - my body could not hold him in any longer. Sadly, most women have to go through a loss like this before they know they have incompetent cervix.

I'm blessed by the people who understand and care. Those who remember my son. It means so much to me that he is not forgotten, that people still know my pain and that it will always be a part of me, even though I'm healing.

November is a difficult month for so many. One of my closest friends experienced an ectopic pregnancy and loss in November a couple of years ago, and a subsequent loss this month. A new friend lost her son at 20 weeks in November, too. It made me wonder about tragedies this month. I'm compiling that for a future post.

For the full blog entry about my experience of loss, go to: This is My Story, This is My Son

A bit corny...

It's no secret that I LOVE corn dogs. I will gladly endure throngs of humanity in mullets just to get a fresh, fair-cooked corn dog.

This past weekend, being Halloween, a friend told me I should dress up as a corn dog next year. It's a GREAT idea! Also this past weekend, I found a gem at a quirky little store called "Big Fun" (which, incidentally, had these awesome Barack Obama paper dolls that included Michelle and the girls!).

At the right is what I found - it is a CORN DOG AIR FRESHENER! That's right, folks. And get this - it's MUSTARD scented!!!

For those of you living in another country, corn dogs are hot dogs dipped in corn batter, deep fried and served on a stick. Corn dogs were supposedly created in 1942 for the Texas State Fair by Neil Fletcher. Corn dogs are an excellent source of calories, fat, cholesterol and salt.

National Corn Dog Day

"National Corndog Day coincides with the Saturday of the final 32 teams in NCAA basketball tournament (in 2008, it was March 22). This Saturday is the only day all year that one can watch a quadruple-header of college basketball games (that’s a good 7-8 hours of college hoops) from start to finish without having to change the channel. NCD officially starts with the tip-off of the first game – 10 am Pacific/1 pm Eastern. To help pass the time, have fun with friends, and to celebrate being blessed with such a thing as a college basketball tournament, we eat Corndogs!"

Now, I'm not really into basketball at all, but I do very much enjoy corn dogs, and would watch basketball (or at least have it on the TV in the background) in order to celebrate National Corn Dog day properly.

I love that LilCherie made me stickers of fairies with corn dogs. She did a "wandectomy" and in place of their little fairy wands, put corn dogs. I need more corn dog stickers. LilCherie also made me this crazy arrangement in a "dirty pot" (a clay pot decoupaged with naughty images). Inside the pot are things like feathers, pussy willows, sunflowers, birds, and bees. But the best part is that she made corn dogs out of fimo clay and put them on sticks into the arrangement! I'll have to get a picture of it, it's great!

So, LilCherie, look what the internet spewed forth:

The Iowa State Fair is the best because they have FOOTLONG CORN DOGS!! That's right, FOOTLONG!

And, another LilCherie corn dog moment, she took this photo of me when they were visiting in August. I now refer to this photo as "Porn Dog."

Some Corn Dog Links:
I do not believe in corn dog violence.
National Corn Dog Day News
Hillbilly Housewife Corn Dog Batter Recipe

Not all the saints were in the "All Saints" post

In looking back at the "All Saints" post, I realized I didn't upload one of my favorites from the day.

This memorial statue is referred to as the "Haserot Angel" and it stands atop the grave of Francis Haserot and his family. The Haserots family is famous for institutional-sized canned good. Their company, Northen Haserot, supplies hotels, restaurants, schools, hospitals, and other institutions with canned meats, seafood, dairy, beverages, and produce, as well as certain types of food-service equipment and cleaning chemicals. I've seen their trucks a lot during my many road trips.

Northern Haserot was founded in Cleveland in 1892 and has been located here ever since. They only ship to the Cleveland, Akron, Canton, Youngstown, Toledo, and Columbus areas, but they manage to operate two distribution facitilites and a USDA federally inspected meat plant.

The statue at their cemetery plot was sculpted in 1924 by Herman Matzen.

The statue has been referred to as "The Angel of Death Victorious." The male angel has his hands folded on what looks like a sword, but is actually an upside down torch, symbolizing a life extinguished. It is a beautiful, but creepy piece, and the weather has streaked his bronze skin and caused his face to look like it is stained with tears of discolored metal.

"For what is it to die, but to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

- Kahlil Gibran

All Saints

Yesterday, I spent a chunk of the day at Lake View Cemetery in Cleveland, Ohio. It is one of my favorite places in the world. Because it was November 1, when I told people where I was going they thought I was being creepy and Halloweenie, or doing the "All Saints Day" thing. The truth is, it was a beautiful fall day, and I love the place.

It was a bit overcast, so not ideal conditions, but I still took a bunch of pictures. And it was at least warm. Here are a few of my photos to share...

My New Glasses

The promised photo in my new Shanghai Tang glasses!

This is Halloween!

Here was my costume this year...



I wore it to work, even though it's politically incorrect and I want to insist that I was being self-deprecating - NOT making fun of eating disorders which are of course very serious.

The funny thing is how many people didn't get it! I hope my blog readers do!

Goodbye Snowball

I was saddened to learn this week that one of the polar bears at the Cleveland Zoo died this week. It was interesting to learn that she was almost the same age as me, so she was likely the same polar bear I saw as a kid, and that my nephews got to see, too. I have many polar bear pictures from the Cleveland Zoo, I will add some of my favorites here, even though I don't know which one might be Snowball.


RELEASE DATE: October 24, 2008

Polar Bear Dies at Cleveland Metroparks Zoo


Snowball, a wild born 37-year-old polar bear, died at Cleveland Metroparks Zoo today at approximately 10:30 a.m. She was the oldest zoo polar bear in the United States.

A necropsy (animal autopsy) will be performed by the Zoo's Veterinary Care staff to determine the cause of death. The Zoo will release results from the necropsy as they become available.

Snowball arrived at Cleveland Metroparks Zoo in 1971 when she was 11 months old. Most recently, Snowball resided in the Zoo's Northern Trek area with two other polar bears – 25-year-old female Aurora and 15-year-old male Aquila. The average life expectancy for polar bears in zoos is 20 to 30 years.

Poop Stories

Another shout-out to Depressionista, wanted to post her story about my "beach" poop. The original, along with other hilarious poop stories, is found here:
Poop Stories by Depressionista

-----------------------------

Michiana Shores

Last year (2005), Tingle and her husband S., me and J. vacationed for a long weekend in the Michiana Shores area. It was a cold, blustery day, and yet we longed to walk along the beach and explore an austere and beautiful pier made of stone. We had just had lunch at some kind of bar and grille type place so we were in for a lazy walk. I grabbed my camera bag and we disembarked from the car. S. and J. walked ahead in some kind of manly unspoken competition to see if they could get to the end of the pier without someone wussing out. Tingle and I took it more slowly and walked just along the first part of the rocky construction.

As we walked quietly amongst the stones, watching the water lap at the shore, Tingle began having the signs of an impending diarrheal dump. It soon became clear that there was no way she was getting back to anything resembling civilization before she had to acquiese to her body's needs. Tingle, well known for her ability to piss anywhere, anytime, decided she had no choice but to duck down behind a rock and go for it (at which point I took one of my most favorite photos ever).

There was only one problem, however...neither of us had one scrap of paper, tissue, or even a leaf for clean-up purposes. In a moment of brilliant inspiration, I offered her the handtowel I kept in my camera bag to protect the equipment. Without choice, she accepted it gratefully, and like a cat, buried it, along with the rest of her deposit, beneath the sand. A few weeks later she sent me a replacement towel with a nice note reminding us of the hilarity on the beach. It sits in my camera bag, tag and note still attached, ready for its next use, whatever it may be.

----------------------

This story still makes me laugh. I'll have to find and scan the photo because, as I was trying hard not to poop on any of my parts (shoes, legs, etc.), I was laughing hysterically at the whole scenario - me crouching behind some big rocks, cramping up and trying to let loose, trying not to be seen by anyone else on or near the beach, while Depressionista tries to take a picture of me.

Ego Boost

I was looking through some old posts on Depressionista's blog because I was trying to find her version of my famous beach poop story, and found this, which just made me feel all warm inside. I need this kind of ego boost on a daily basis! I'm so humbled...

Monday, January 29, 2007
Things I Love About Tingle (a small sampling)

1. She has photos of other people's children all over her kitchen...even though she lost her own son and has been struggling with infertility for years.

2. You cannot go to Tingle's house without coming away with all sorts of cool goodies that she just happens to have in her house--a new purse, clothing she doesn't want, fun soaps or hair do-dads, a cool journal. I think when she sees something cool, she just buys it with the knowledge that at some point, the perfect opportunity to give it away will arise.

3. She doesn't beat around the bush. If she doesn't want you to set your glass on the endtable then she tells you. If you leave a mess in the bathroom, she bitches about it. I like that. It's freeing for me because I don't have to worry if I'm annoying her--she lets me know and then I can decide whether or not to alter my behavior or face the consequences!

4. She has fun with my son and helps take care of him so J. and I can smoke together (or have sex, as the case may be).

5. She uses fun phrases like "jeezy Petes!", "it's all effed up," "it's all good" and "bun of a snitch!"

6. She tells me I'm beautiful.

7. She is beautiful.*

8. She's hilarious.

9. She gets excited about stuff.

10. Sometimes she will stand outside with me to keep me company while I smoke, even though she hates it. And sometimes, she totally refuses (see number 3).

11. She's really smart.

12. She walks and talks just as fast as I do.

13. She knows how to get me out of a bad mood.

14. She looks really cute when she purses her lips in mock disgust.

15. She has a personal code of ethics and stands by them without foisting them onto others.

16. She knows all about my bad habits and personality flaws and loves me anyway.

17. She likes my other friends (and they like her!)

18. She has a way of making people feel welcome and at home no matter where she is.

19. She's very kind but never self-righteous or sickeningly sweet about it.

20. She's edgy and deep and fascinating, and I look forward to spending the rest of my life learning more about her.

*Number One Thing I Don't Love About Tingle: That she cannot see the beauty and grace she possesses, inside and out.

The Lawrence Welk Show

I love the Lawrence Welk Show, so when I saw this skit on the Saturday Night Live website while catching up on some episodes, I decided to watch it. And I laughed hysterically! Hope you do, too!





It's those hands, it just cracks me up!

Ain't No Party Like a Political Party!

Disclaimer: A Political Post

Don't worry, I'm not going to tell you who to vote for! I think America's political process is exciting, as are the debates and the reasons people vote the way they do. I was reading TIME magazine, which outlined how people vote - statistics and whatnot. It got me thinking and wondering - do we mostly vote the way we were raised to vote? Does the way we vote reflect where we live? Our economic status? Our religion? Our moral beliefs?

I will reveal that, until the 2004 election, I had never voted for a Democrat or Republican for president - I always voted for another political party, like Independent, Green, or Libertarian. Why? Because I tried to find the candidate who fit my beliefs about the issues, not just, as some voters have admitted, "The guy I'd most like to have a beer with."

I do not consider myself a Democrat or a Republican - I am not, nor will probably ever be, affiliated with a major political party. I am registered as "independent."

While we like to think of the U.S. as a place where anyone can become president, the U.S. is considered a two-party system, where two political parties dominate the system to the extent that getting elected under any other party is extremely difficult.

What do you think? What makes you vote the way you do? Do you fit in one of these categories?

Major Political Parties

The Socialist Party bases most of its philosophies on revising the system of capitalism (our current economic structure). Need to visit the hospital? Forget insurance. The Socialists believe in universal health care (a system practiced in many European countries), meaning that everyone can get medical coverage, no matter who they are and how much they make. Like the Greens, the Socialists also believe in preserving the environment by the use of other non-destructive forces, like solar energy and hydro power.

The Socialist Party strives to establish a radical democracy that places people's lives under their own control - a non-racist, classless, feminist socialist society... where working people own and control the means of production and distribution through democratically-controlled public agencies; where full employment is realized for everyone who wants to work; where workers have the right to form unions freely, and to strike and engage in other forms of job actions; and where the production of society is used for the benefit of all humanity, not for the private profit of a few.

Socialists believe socialism and democracy are one and indivisible. The working class is in a key and central position to fight back against the ruling capitalist class and its power. The working class is the major force worldwide that can lead the way to a socialist future - to a real radical democracy from below. The Socialist Party fights for progressive changes compatible with a socialist future. Socialists support militant working class struggles and electoral action, independent of the capitalist controlled two-party system, to present socialist alternatives. We strive for democratic revolutions - radical and fundamental changes in the structure and quality of economic, political, and personal relations - to abolish the power now exercised by the few who control great wealth and the government. The Socialist Party is a democratic, multi-tendency organization, with structure and practices visible and accessible to all members.

The Constitution Party was founded as the U.S. Taxpayers' Party in 1992. It ranks third nationally amongst all U.S. political parties in registered voters, with 366,937 registered members as of November 2006. The Constitution Party advocates a platform which aims to reflect the principles of the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution of the United States, and the Bill of Rights.

Seven Principles of the Constitution Party are:

1. Life: For all human beings, from conception to natural death;


2. Liberty: Freedom of conscience and actions for the self-governed individual;


3. Family: One husband and one wife with their children as divinely instituted;


4. Property: Each individual's right to own and steward personal property without government burden;


5. Constitution: and Bill of Rights interpreted according to the actual intent of the Founding Fathers;


6. States' Rights: Everything not specifically delegated by the Constitution to the federal government is reserved for the state and local jurisdictions;


7. American Sovereignty: American government committed to the protection of the borders, trade, and common defense of Americans, and not entangled in foreign alliances.

The Republican Party is often considered "the Right" or "conservative" party, the Republican Party opposes gay marriage, high taxes and abortion (except in the case of rape, incest or problem pregnancies). Many republicans support harsher punishments for drug users, standardized testing within schools and a strong military force. The Republicans were among the first and strongest supporters of the war in Iraq. They also favor privatization of health care.

Founded in 1854 by anti-slavery expansion activists and modernizers, the Republican Party quickly surpassed the Whig Party as the principal opposition to the Democratic Party. Today, the party supports a neoconservative platform with further foundations in supply-side fiscal policies, partial government ownership of the financial industry, and social conservatism.

Republicans like to think of themselves as the conservative party—for small government, a strong national defense, and traditional moral values. The Republican party's beliefs include: a fiscally responsible government that allows “individuals to keep more of the money they earn” and the “best government is that which governs the least.” Translated—lower taxes and more laws decided at the state level. Small government means our federal government should only intervene on issues and laws outlined in the Constitution; otherwise, issues of public policy should be resolved at the state level.

The Libertarian Party is currently one of the largest third political party in the United States with 200,000 registered members. Libertarians are deeply supportive of the concept of individual liberty as a precondition for moral and stable societies. In their ''Statement of Principles,'' they declare: ''We hold that all individuals have the right to exercise sole dominion over their own lives, and have the right to live in whatever manner they choose, so long as they do not forcibly interfere with the equal rights of others to live in whatever manner they choose.'' To this end, Libertarians want to reduce the size of government (eliminating many of its current functions entirely).The party tends to favor minimally regulated economic markets, strong civil liberties, minimally regulated migration across borders, and non-interventionism in foreign policy with a respect for freedom of trade and travel to all foreign countries. Combing aspects of both popular parties, Libertarians tend to focus on reduced taxation, privatization of Social Security and welfare, reduced regulation of business, rollbacks of labor regulations, and reduction of government interference in foreign trade. They tend to support the unrestricted right to guns, abolishing laws against victimless crimes such as drug possession, prostitution and driving regulations.

The big issue that most Libertarians are known for is their love of guns. They take the second amendment very seriously and even refer to it as their "hot-button" issue for the 2004 election. The Libertarians like to stress the individual and believe that the government is too controlling and intrusive on many issues. They favor the privatization of certain services, such as health care and schooling. Sounds a little republican? While they do seem to have much in common, a couple of things separate these groups, such as the Libertarians' stance on the legalization of marijuana, abortion rights and gay marriage - they believe in the rights of the individual to make these decisions. In addition, the Libertarians believe morals are an individual's concern and should not be dictated by the government.

Key tenets of the Libertarian Party platform include the following:

• Adoption of laissez-faire principles which would reduce the state's role in the economy. This would include, among other things, markedly reduced taxation, privatization of Social Security and welfare (for individuals, as well as elimination of "corporate welfare"), markedly reduced regulation of business, rollbacks of labor regulations, and reduction of government interference in foreign trade.


• Protection of property rights.


• Minimal government bureaucracy. The Libertarian Party states that the government's responsibilities should be limited to the protection of individual rights from the initiation of force and fraud.


• Strong civil liberties positions, including privacy protection, freedom of speech, freedom of association, and sexual freedom.


• Opposition to civil rights laws that regulate the private sector, such as affirmative action and non-discrimination laws.


• Support for the unrestricted right to the means of self-defense (such as gun rights, the right to carry mace or pepper spray, etc).


• Abolition of laws against "victimless crimes" (such as prostitution, driving without a seat belt, use of controlled substances, fraternization, etc.).


• Opposition to regulations on how businesses should run themselves (e.g., smoking)


• A foreign policy of free trade and non-interventionism.


• Support for a fiscally responsible government including a hard currency (commodity-based money supply as opposed to fiat currency).


• Abolition of all forms of taxpayer-funded assistance (welfare, food stamps, public housing, Health care, etc.)

Libertarians state that their platform follows from the consistent application of their guiding principle: "mutual respect for rights." They are therefore deeply supportive of the concept of individual liberty as a precondition for moral and stable societies. In their "Statement of Principles," they declare: "We hold that all individuals have the right to exercise sole dominion over their own lives, and have the right to live in whatever manner they choose, so long as they do not forcibly interfere with the equal right of others to live in whatever manner they choose." To this end, Libertarians want to reduce the size of government (eliminating many of its current functions entirely).

The Democratic Party was originally known as "the party of the common man." Called "the Left" or "liberal" party, the Democrats have been linked to the middle class and receive a large percent of minority vote in elections. They are opposed to corporate tax breaks and focus more on providing public services. Mainly pro-choice, the party has strong support from many feminist groups, like Planned Parenthood and FMLA (Feminist Majority Leadership Alliance). Originally supportive of the war in Iraq, many democrats feel that the time has come to leave the Middle East and rebuild alliances with foreign nations. As for gay marriage, many dems are for gay unions--equal rights, but not exactly the same as marriage. The Democrats continue to focus their energy on working class America and hope to strengthen the middle class.

Since the 1890s, the Democratic Party has favored "liberal" positions (the term "liberal" in this sense describes social liberalism, not classical liberalism). In recent exit polls, the Democratic Party has had broad appeal across all socio-ethno-economic demographics. Historically, the party has favored farmers, laborers, labor unions, and religious and ethnic minorities; it has opposed unregulated business and finance, and favored progressive income taxes.

In recent decades, the party has adopted a centrist economic and more socially progressive agenda, with the voter base having shifted considerably. Once dominated by unionized labor and the working class, the Democratic base now consists of social liberals who tend to be well-educated as well as the socially more conservative working class. Today, Democrats advocate more social freedoms, affirmative action, balanced budget, and a free enterprise system tempered by government intervention (mixed economy). The party believes that government should play a role in alleviating poverty and social injustice, even if such requires a larger role for government and progressive taxation.

The Green Party was officially formed in 2001 after several state chapters of the Green Party came together. Their initial goal was to help the state politicians grow, however they burst onto the national scene when Ralph Nader was nominated and placed third in the 2000 presidential election. The defining position of the Greens is their dedication to environmental issues--hence the name "Green." They also believe in grassroots democracy, supporting local activism, smaller and independently owned business, abortion rights, as well as the restructuring of certain political institutions. Openly opposed to the war since the beginning, the Greens support the removal of the troops from Iraq immediately and if elected would support a decrease in military spending.

The Green Party of the United States emphasizes environmentalism, non-hierarchical participatory democracy, social justice, respect for diversity, peace and nonviolence. Their "Ten Key Values," which are described as non-authoritative guiding principles, are as follows:

1. Grassroots democracy


2. Social justice and equal opportunity


3. Ecological wisdom


4. Non-violence


5. Decentralization


6. Community-based economics and economic justice


7. Feminism and gender equity


8. Respect for diversity


9. Personal and global responsibility


10. Future focus and sustainability

I've taken several political quizzes to see where I fit. I've found that I usually fall somewhere between Libertarian and Socialist. While I do believe in a lot of the Libertarian platforms, I differ about gun control, their "hot button" issue.

Interested in quizzing yourself? Try one of these (I tried to only post quizzes that include other parties, not just the Big Two):

http://www.politicalcompass.org/index
You don't need to provide any personal information here, which is a bonus. This test shows where your political compass puts you on a spectrum, not which party you would fit. It showed that my political compass puts me right between Gandhi and the Dalai Lama. Wow!

http://quiz.myyearbook.com/myspace/PersonalityEmotion/390235/Which_Political_Party_Represents_You_Best.html This one pins me as Libertarian...

http://www.selectsmart.com/FREE/select.php?client=Smood
This very short quiz says I'm Green Party...

http://www.gurl.com/play/quizzes/pages/0,,647035,00.html
A good quiz, very girl-centric though. This one says I'm Socialist...

Now I'm freeee.... free balling!

I've been really busy lately - not home a whole lot. And with the time I had to do laundry yesterday, I washed towels since S. was complaining about no clean towels and my nephews were sleeping over and we were giving them baths. But I should have washed underwear.

When I got dressed this morning, all I had left were the "reserve" underwear. These are 3 pairs of underwear that really don't fit me at all, but for some reason I've kept them in the back of the drawer. They are relatively new, since I apparently bought the wrong size to begin with. "Oh well," I thought. I've worn them before, and they end up being more like bikinis on my usual-brief-wearing lower torso. Not comfortable, but at least it's undies. (Check out my previous writing about panties: The Hierarchy of the Panties)

We took the boys to the zoo today. A really nice, if somewhat cool, fall day at a very empty zoo. Of course, as we usually do at the zoo, there was a lot of running and racing. First off, we started racing to the front of the zoo, me pushing the stroller, and S. running with my older nephew. After some jogging along, I felt the undies sliding off. Since there were other people around, I stopped running and check to make sure it's just the undies and not the pants, too. Everything's good, so I hike up the undies and keep going.

We visited the primate and aquatic building, which was exciting because the animals were very active today - we saw the gorillas, red pandas, a crazy running armadillo, and even a baboon with a really long penis that he was showing off (some people took pictures, but I was trying to keep an eye on the boys who were running around like crazy. Besides, last year I got some great shots of a chimpanzee being a cunning linguist on another chimp, and also two crazy squirrels going at it for like 20 minutes).

After seeing the animals, playing on the playground, and getting some lunch, we headed back down the hill to the Australian Outback area. At this point, my panties were really not doing anything for me. I had to keep pulling them up, and they pretty much parked below my butt, below my naughty bits - the only thing keeping them from falling off completely was the crotch of my pants that were holding them up. S. said that you couldn't tell they were falling off, but I don't know if I believe him.

After the Australia experience, we went to the bathroom, did the diaper change thing, and I decided that was it - time to lose the panties. I took 'em off and thought for a mili-second about putting them in my pocket, but decided to just toss them out.

When I came out, I said, "I'm free!" S. said, "So, you're going commando?" I said, "Can you tell?" And he said, "Yes." I said, "Really?" and he said, "Yeah, I can see the hairs poking out!" Nice! hahaha

Being this free is not very comfortable for me out in public. I like to have at least 2 layers of fabric between me and the outside world, especially at a germ-fest like the zoo.

I have been undie-less before, although it's rare. I have had a few occasions when I admit, I've pooped my pants. And the more people I admit this to, the more I know that pretty much everyone has or will poop their pants at some time in their life. If you haven't already, you will.

Most recently, I had a break during our board meetings last November from like noon to 3:00pm. I had a meeting at 3:00, so after a few hours of doing some work and trying not to fall asleep, right at 2:55, I had some gas, and yes, I let it rip. Well, it wasn't gas. And it was a LOT of shit. Sometimes you just have a little come out, ya know? This was so much, I had trouble getting down the hall to the bathroom! When I got there, I took off the undies and threw them away. But there was shit all down my legs and on my pants. I did the best I could, but there was no way I could go sit in a meeting smelling like shit.

I told my boss I was going to miss part of the meeting because "I had an incident and needed to go home and change my pants." She didn't even say anything, just "OK." So, I was only commando for the drive home, but still, walking to my car without undies and smelling like shit, well, you just feel like everyone knows. I ended up needing to shower off my ass and legs before changing my clothes and returning to work.

Back to the zoo story, I stayed undie-less for the rest of the afternoon and all the way home. We all got naps when we got home, and I finally washed a load of underwear. There's no way I can go to work tomorrow without panties!

Interestingly enough, Wikipedia has an entry for "Going Commando." I looked it up as I was curious about the origins of the phrase. Read it here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Going_commando